A Truly Wonderful Life
by pinkrose1991
Summary: "Her heart fluttered along to the familiar tune and yearned to sing along. She knew that song had truly been the start of her wonderful, sensational life..." A story of love and family through an extraordinary life.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I really didn't want my first story on here to be a sad one but I'd started writing this for something else entirely and decided it would be a great idea for a Mary Poppins fic too :) I promise it's not going to be all doom and gloom, there will be happier chapters but you will have to concentrate because it's going to go back and forward in time so often you might feel dizzy!**

 **I hope you enjoy it and reviews are really appreciated :) Kelly x**

 **Disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of the Mary Poppins characters!**

 ***The Present Day***

The young girl signed in at reception and paused as the sound of groaning echoed down the corridor. She really hated this place and she knew her grandmother did too. She tied back her jet black hair into a loose plait – Nana had always liked it that way. She refocused back on the signing-in book and turned to the nurse with weary eyes. The woman in uniform smiled at her and placed a warm, comforting hand on her shoulder: "Are you ready love?"

She nodded and gulped: "Yes, let's go." Of course she wasn't ready, she had known this was coming for weeks but nothing could have prepared her.

She walked through the disinfectant soaked halls but couldn't help but think that it still didn't mask the smell of decay. Because that's what was happening within those walls. It was a place where people were sent to die. People whose organs were starting to shut down, who no longer had control of their bodily functions, people who could no longer feed themselves or walk without help, the people whose memories were fading into nothing. Somehow her grandmother fell into all these categories.

Her beloved Nana. The woman who had spent countless nights, when her mum was in work, reading to her or singing her to sleep or played old movies back to back and brought her soup when she was sick. She washed her hands with the anti-bacterial hand sanitiser that Nana had once said looked like KY jelly. She smiled at the memory of her excruciatingly embarrassing comments and how she'd scoffed and muttered something under her breath about how Nanas shouldn't talk about sex. What she wouldn't give to hear her Nana's embarrassing jokes again.

She passed through the communal room where the residents would often sit to watch the television or eat their meals - if they could eat. Her heart felt heavy almost as though it had been filled with concrete. It was here that she had really seen her grandmother at her worst. She had desperately tried to find another route to her destination but there was no other way. Her mother had once called it Death's waiting room.

When she reached the elderly lady's room, she tapped on the door gently so not to disturb her in anyway. Her mother and aunt were already there by the elderly woman's bedside. Her mother stood up and hugged her half-heartedly. "I thought I told you to stay in work." She sighed.

"You called me up to tell me the doctors have said she won't make it through the night... Did you really expect me not to be here?" The young girl asked.

"I don't want you to see this." She didn't reply. The truth was she didn't want to see her Nana like that either but the damage had already been done and she would be damned if she wasn't with her in her final hours. So instead she took off her coat and placed it on the hook on the door and approached her grandmother's bed.

The lady's snow white hair was as it had always been, scraped back into a neat and tidy bun – not a single hair out of place. It was not quite as tight as it usually was so not to cause her any more discomfort. Her mouth hung open slightly and her face appeared sunken. Her eyes were closed in morphine induced sleep. She took deep, jagged breaths every 20 seconds or so. Even in her last moments she was strong and stubborn.

The young girl sat down beside her and took her grandmother's withered hand in her own soft hand. Her fingers traced over the veins that protruded from her wrist dangerously. She followed them like a map that led to the cancer that was slowly killing her. The younger woman let a few tears slip down her cheeks as she placed a gentle kiss to her grandmother's hand.

"It's ok Nana, we're here and we're not going anywhere." She whispered. And with that she began to sing a song because, despite the coma, she knew her grandmother could hear her.

"Oh it's a jolly 'oliday with Mary  
Mary makes your 'eart so light.  
When the day is grey and ordinary  
Mary makes the sun shine bright!  
Oh, 'appiness is bloomin' all around 'er  
The daffodils are smilin' at the dove  
When Mary 'olds your 'and  
You feel so grand  
Your 'eart starts beatin' like  
A big brass band!  
It's a jolly 'oliday with Mary  
No wonder that it's Mary that we love."

Mary's hand tightened around her granddaughter's; her heart fluttered along to the familiar tune and yearned to sing along. Although she could not remember the exact date or time she had first heard that song, she remembered feeling overcome with love and joy. She knew that song had truly been the start of her wonderful, sensational life.

 **Yes I know it's a really sad beginning! But stick with it, I promise there are happier chapters :) x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone, thank you so much for the reviews and favourites from the last chapter - I really appreciate it :) Just to let you know, I know mentioned that the last chapter took place in the Present, I should probs say that sticking to the original times of the story, "The Present Day" will be set in late 1970s - early 1980s. Anyway this chapter is a bit more Mary/Bert - I hope you enjoy! Xx**

 _Chapter 2 - Autumn 1910_

Bert Alfred was always the first to know when Mary Poppins was back in London. He didn't mind that she didn't come to see him before settling in with her new family because he could feel it in the wind when she had returned. When she was high above the city planning her next movements, he would cast his eyes to the sky in hope that he would catch a glimpse of her. Even though it would sometimes take a day or two for her to get around to him, it never made him bitter. He knew she had a job to do and she would find him eventually – she always did.

Although Mary Poppins and Bert had been caught up in a romance for quite some time, Mary did not need Bert. She wanted him in her life but didn't need him – that was one of the things that had made him fall madly in love with her. She was fiercely stubborn, independent and a free spirit through and through and in 1910, did not make for marriage material. But to him, she was perfect. He would gladly settle for stolen kisses on the rooftops of London or pretending to just be friends whenever they took her charges on adventures through chalk pictures or even tea and cakes on her second Tuesday off. He needed, if he was to ever have a chance at happiness, to put her needs first and make her happy. If that meant never living as man and wife, so be it. However, when she returned in autumn 1910 to nanny for Jane and Michael Banks, he would ask her to stay just as he always did.

Mary's time at Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane was considerably different to all her other posts. For the first time ever she was completely overcome with sorrow at the prospect of leaving the children; of leaving Bert. Of course she loved Jane and Michael, not that she would ever admit it, but contrary to belief she had loved every single child she said goodbye to. She had been a nanny since the age of 18 and had seen some wonderful places in the world but the constant moving around was beginning to play havoc on her emotions and no matter how often she told herself: "Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking" she could not shake the feelings of loss.

Once Mary had left Cherry Tree Lane, Bert headed to one of their favourite rooftops in London in hope that she would be there to greet him. It was a tradition to come here to say their goodbyes overlooking the London skyline and promise to see each other soon. It was here, when Mary Poppins was tucked in his embrace that Bert would ask her to stay. She would look deep into his eyes and give him the same answer: "Oh Bert, you know I'd love to but I can't, there are still so many children who need me… I can't abandon them." He pressed his lips to her hair and held her close to him. The wind was picking up and he was desperate to cling to those last moments with her.

Mary sighed a weary sigh, Bert could swear he almost heard her suppress a sob as she spoke in no more than a whisper: "Why do you always ask me to stay when you know the answer?" He tilted her chin up to meet his gaze and looked into those blue eyes that were always so bold and confident, something was missing. "Because love, you an' I are meant for each other… We will always come back to each other no matter what and you might not know it yet, but one day you will wanna stay. It might not be in the near future but eventually you will say yes because you love me as much as I love you." Mary's eyes filled with tears but she refused to let them fall.

"What's it like to be so sure of yourself?" Mary asked with a gentle mocking tone.

"S'not bad at all." Bert grinned. He cupped her face and kissed her with as much passion as he could muster, pushing away any doubts she had about his feelings for her.

"I love you." He continued. "I love you more than anything in this 'ole world. In fact, I love you more than anything in the 'ole universe!" He danced her around the rooftop until she was dizzy and laughing with him.

"You are light headed!" She giggled as she gave him another tender kiss on the lips. It never bothered Bert that Mary Poppins never told him she loved him too because he knew, deep down, she did. But she would never allow herself to say it out loud – not to anyone. As someone who was constantly flying off to different parts of the world, saying goodbye was such a regular occurrence that she needed that extra layer of protection around her heart. She simply couldn't allow herself to tell Bert that she loved him when she didn't know when she'd see him again.

"I need to go." Mary said, reluctantly pulling away. Bert wasn't letting her go that easy, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back to him. "Just a bit longer." He grinned as his nose brushed against hers.

"Well… If I must, I must." She managed to reply before Bert's lips crashed down on hers. As she allowed Bert to deepen the kiss, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him even closer so his body was pressed against hers. She wanted to lose herself completely in his kiss, she wanted to pretend that they were the only two people in the world but more than anything she wanted to give herself to him completely. It was only when Bert's hand started roaming more fervently and his kisses trailed along her jaw and down her neck that Mary pulled away.

"Sorry, I got carried away." Bert apologised, his breathing still coming up in gasps. Mary nodded wordlessly, she leant forward so her forehead rested against his and ran her fingers up and down the back of his neck.

"You should be careful Bert, you don't want to be pressing your advantage." She smirked as she wiped the lipstick off his mouth. "I really should be going now." Bert sighed downheartedly.

"I don't want to watch you go." Mary glanced around pensively before an idea hit her. She kissed his cheek once more and whispered in his ear: "Close your eyes and count to 10." Bert did as he was told and once his eyes were open again, she was gone – as if she had never been there to begin with. That was what happened whenever Mary Poppins left a family, she made sure there was no trace of herself, nothing that would make the children miss her. She was so meticulous in removing any evidence of herself that families would often wonder if they had dreamt her up. Not that that would ever work on Bert. While he thought it entirely possible that he had dreamed her into life, the kiss she had left him with reminded him that she was very real and she would be coming back to him one day.

 **Not my best chapter but hopefully there's enough romance in there to keep you satisfied for a while :P**

 **Love Kelly x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter three folks, I hope you enjoy! Gosh I never thought I'd be writing them so quickly, I'm just completely obsessed with Mary Poppins right now! It's actually spilling over into my work life too as I got very excited this week when I found out I'd be working with a supporter called Julie Andrews - at least until I realised it wasn't _the_ Julie Andrews - doh! Ahh well! One can dream! **

**Anyway as always, I hope you enjoy the chapter and reviews are truly appreciated :) Kel x**

* * *

 _The Present_

" _Stay awake don't rest your head_

 _Don't lie down upon your bed_

 _While the moon drifts in the skies_

 _Stay awake don't close your eyes_

 _Though the world is fast asleep_

 _Though your pillow soft and deep_

 _You're not sleepy as you seem_

 _Stay awake, don't nod and dream_

 _Stay awake, don't nod and dream"_

It was the lullaby she'd heard many times before when she was being especially difficult and refusing to sleep. Her grandmother would come in and sing to her, like she had done with so many other children. Lucy hoped that now the lullaby would offer Mary some comfort in her final moments, she rested her head on the pillow next to her, she stroked the elderly lady's hair ever so gently as she continued to sing. Lucy, was the youngest of Mary's grandchildren but she was closer to her than any of her cousins. She and Mary shared a special bond that she couldn't explain, it was almost as if they were tied together with magic.

"You've got your grandmother's voice." Her mother, Elizabeth, said as she and her sister Rose entered the room. Rose was the eldest of the two sisters and had a twin brother, Matthew. Rose stroked her young niece's hair, she wasn't far past twenty but was showing incredible bravery and wisdom beyond her years.

"Do you think she's in pain?" Lucy asked with tears in her eyes.

"No darling… She's a tough one your nana!" The two older women began to rifle through the cardboard box they'd brought in from the car.

"What's that?" Lucy asked.

"Just some of your grandmother's old photos… She had so many stored away, I thought it'd be nice to bring them down, talk about old memories…" Liz replied as she handed a pile of photos to Lucy. Lucy began looking through and smiled as she looked upon the face a chubby three year old with hair as dark as the night sky with her thumb in her mouth, eyes brimming with tears because she wanted to stay at her nana's house. Eventually Mary had given in to the little girl while Elizabeth rolled her eyes and muttered something about her getting soft in her old age. Lucy continued to scan through the photos until she came across a photo of her grandmother and grandfather in their youth. Pictures from the early 1910s were more often than not posed family portraits as in those days cameras and film were much more expensive and a lot more difficult to come by than they were now. But this one was different. Neither of them were looking at the camera, they were too busy gazing at each other. Lucy's eyes brimmed with joy at seeing her grandparents so happy, she could feel the love radiating from the picture and leaving butterflies in her stomach. While she had never met her grandfather, she knew that he was a wonderful man who adored his family.

"When was this taken?" Lucy asked her mother and aunt. Elizabeth took the photo from Lucy, she looked at the photo, let out nostalgic gasp. She passed the photo to Rose who mirrored her sister's actions. "This was taken in 1914, your grandad took Nana to the cinema for the first time." Rose answered. Lucy snorted as she tried to repress a laugh.

"The cinema?" Lucy giggled. Elizabeth smacked the back of her daughter's arm.

"Hey, you can laugh missus but remember, in those days, the cinema was a relatively new thing… Besides it was a very special time for your grandparents." Elizabeth smiled.

* * *

 _1914_

"The cinema?" Mary asked with a raised eyebrow as Bert led her through the crowd so he could buy their tickets. "This is your big anniversary plan?"

"Well love, we have been together for five years now - granted you've been outta London for at least half of that time but we need to mark the occasion with somethin' different and you've never been to the movies before… Besides we can't always go for tea and cakes in chalk pictures!" Bert teased gently.

"I like tea and cakes in chalk pictures." Mary pouted. Bert grinned and kissed her knuckles.

"Why don't you go in and find us some seats? I'll be in in a minute."

Mary entered the packed out theatre hall and quickly scoped out a couple of empty seats, she glanced around at the people around her. Young lovers on their first date, groups of friends on an evening out, young soldiers in their uniform taking their sweethearts out one last time before they leave for France. She felt her eyes fill with tears, since H.H Asquith had announced that the country was at war with Germany, life as she knew it would change forever.

"You alright love?" Bert asked as he returned with a paper bag filled with treats.

"I'm fine Bert… What on earth is in that bag?" Mary asked as he sat down beside her.

"Popcorn." He took a bite and held a piece out for her. "Try some." Mary observed it apprehensively.

"No, I don't think so."

"Trust me, it's delicious… Now open." Mary rolled her eyes but did as Bert asked, he popped the sweet and savoury snack into her mouth.

"Why that's lovely! It's the strangest thing I've ever eaten but still." Bert watched with an amused expression while Mary grabbed another handful of popcorn and began eating it.

"So, what are we watching?" Mary asked in between bites of popcorn.

"Cinderella… I thought you might like it." Bert replied.

"I love Cinderella, but you do realise we could have gone to see it on stage rather than in a theatre hall where our shoes stick to the floor."

"It's all part of the experience of going to see a picture show." The lights in the room began to dim to alert the audience to start of the film.

"And it's a silent film, how are we supposed to know what's going on?"

"Oh you'll know my love, the background music is very powerful…It'll let ya know exactly what's going on." They were interrupted by a muffled giggling from behind them. They turned around to see a young couple kissing passionately, not a care in the world. Mary tutted at the very public display of affection while Bert turned to her with a wicked glint in his eye and a cheeky grin.

"If you even think about it, you're going to wake up and apologise." Mary snapped. Bert laughed and turned his attention back to the large screen.

After the movie, Bert insisted on walking Mary back to Uncle Albert's house, where she always stayed when she was in between charges. She let him lace his fingers through hers as they walked underneath dimly lit streets of London but she kept an unusual distance between their bodies. "You've been really quiet tonight, everything alright?" Bert asked. Mary didn't reply but, despite her silence, Bert knew the answer. Things had been tense between them ever since he told her that he had signed up to the war along with the other chimney sweeps.

Bert had deliberately made sure Mary was in a good mood before he dropped the latest bombshell on her. He'd drawn a beautiful chalk picture of her favourite place in the world, one of the most stunning beaches in England, with a transcendent view from atop the lighthouse. They walked along the coast line toward the lighthouse, dipping their toes into the crystal clear ocean, picking up seashells and laughing and talking like they were the only two people who existed in the world. All their problems were worlds away. When he finally admitted what he had done, Mary's fantasy came crashing down. The clouds rolled in and almost at once the glorious sunny day became grey and miserable. He begged her to say something but his words were drowned out by the sound of the oceans waves began to crash violently against the rocks. Before they knew it, the storm had started to wash away any jolly holiday they hoped to have. The drawing collapsed and they were soon transported back to the city. She stormed away from him without a single word – he knew that she'd only agreed to see him that night because it was their anniversary.

When they reached Uncle Albert's door, Mary took out her keys and said goodnight without giving him a kiss. He grabbed her arm to stop her from going anywhere. "Hey! Look I know you're angry with me but you can't keep giving me the cold shoulder!" He exclaimed.

"Don't be ridiculous Bert! I'm fine." She replied stiffly.

"Please, I've known ya for almost 15 years now, you can't pull the wool over my eyes!"

"Let it go, Bert."

"I can't, I'm leaving in 3 weeks; do you really want to leave things the way they are between us?"

"I didn't think it would matter seeing as you never asked my thoughts on it before you signed up."

"There it is!"

"Never mind 'there it is'! We've been together five years and you didn't even speak to me about it, you and the lads just decided to sign up for war not knowing when you'll be back or if you'll even be back!"

"You're one to talk... You've been flying off to god knows where for years - difference is I trust you'll always be back!"

"No Bert, the difference is I'm not flying off into an active war zone, there isn't a high chance I'll be killed." Mary's eyes filled with tears.

"Mary..." Bert voice trailed off as he reached out to hold her.

"Don't!" She snapped and leapt out of his reached. She knew if he touched her the tears would spill out.

"Love, please." Bert pleaded as he held his arms out to her. It took her a moment but she willingly stepped into them and let him hold her as her tears began to fall. She nuzzled against his chest.

"I don't want to lose you." She cried.

"Mary, look at me." Bert lifted her chin so she met his gaze.

"You will never lose me, darlin'. Even if the worst happens, it won't be the end for us. If you keep a small place for me in your heart, you'll never be without me." He kissed her lightly and rested his forehead against hers. "Besides if I do die, I'll just keep haunting you until you finally come and join me." Mary giggled a little through her tears. She leant up and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing his body even closer to hers. She ran her fingers through his messy hair and buried her face in the crook of his neck. With his arms wrapped around her and his warmth enveloping her, it was the safest she had ever felt in her life. If she could, she'd have stayed in his arms forever. "I love you." She murmured against him.

Bert pulled away to give her a questioning look, not quite sure he'd heard her right. Mary nodded in confirmation, her whole body was trembling but she kept a firm grip on him. Although she was afraid, her fear of losing the man she loved and never being able to tell him she loved him far outweighed her fear of losing her independence.

"I do." She affirmed. "I love you so much. I've loved you since I was 15 years old. You're the most infuriating, idiotic, childish man I've ever – but I love you more than anything. And that's why you'll never have just a small part of my heart. You're the thing that keeps it beating." Before she could say anymore his lips were on hers. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, forcing her onto her tiptoes as he deepened the kiss. She responded to his kiss with as much hunger as he did and only broke apart from him when oxygen was necessary. She was so grateful that the dimness of the streetlamps gave them a little privacy from the judgemental eyes of London.

"Oh, I love you too darlin'. Never forget that." Bert whispered. He pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead. Sometimes in life, you feel like the stars line up perfectly and everything in your world suddenly makes sense. This was what was happening to Bert. There had never been a more perfect moment in his entire life, which had been brought on by the woman in his arms, and he wasn't sure when or if he would ever get another moment like it again. He wasn't going to waste it.

"Will you marry me, Mary Poppins?"

* * *

 **Do I hear an "awwwww" at the end of that?! It's very soppy and sweet but that's what I like :P Anyway, not much of a cliffhanger, I think you can pretty much guess what her response is going to be but you can never be completely sure in the world of fanfic ;)**

 **Kelly x**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay so this one is a little longer than intended, think I went a little crazy trying to get everything in as I've got a Christmas chapter coming up in about 2 chapters and I'm trying to actually get it done in time for Christmas so I'm writing at any given moment! As usual, I hope you enjoy it and please feel free to review with any feedback as parts of this story are full of things that I'm using for an actual book I'm hoping to publish one day - if I'm lucky!**_

 _ **Love Kel xx**_

* * *

 _ **1914**_

Mary pulled back slightly and Bert began to think he'd made a horrible mistake. "What?" She gasped.

"Will you marry me, Mary Poppins?" Bert gulped trying to force down the huge lump in his throat. He hadn't meant to push her but he desperately wanted to start a life with her, he only hoped that she wouldn't withdraw from him. To his surprise, she reached out and caressed his cheek.

"Do you mean that?"

"I do… I love you and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you as 'usband and wife. But Mary, don't feel like ya have to. I completely understand if you want things to stay as they are… Don't say yes unless it's what you really want." Mary looked up at him with adoration swimming in her eyes, she had never loved anyone this and it terrified her. Regardless of this she leaned in and said: "Yes, I do."

Bert's eyes widened in shock, his heart was pounding in his ears. "Y' what?" He asked in disbelief.

"I want to marry you Bert." Mary replied with a grin.

"You do?"

"Of course I do. Did you think I'd say no?" Bert stifled a laugh while he tried to comprehend what was happening.

"So, we're getting married?"

"Yes… If you still want to that is." Suddenly Bert lifted Mary off the ground and twirled her around.

"We're getting married!" He yelled. Mary giggled as he planted kisses along her neck.

"Bert! Put me down!" She shrieked. He settled her back on to the ground and cupped her face.

"I love you my darlin' girl." He sighed. Mary beamed up at him before leaning in to gently kiss him on the lips. In that moment, nothing else existed. No war, no suffering, they were the only thing that mattered. Bert smiled into the kiss, the same smile that made her heart melt every time she saw him. Mary pulled away slightly, she ran her hands up the back of his neck and stroked the ends of his hair.

"Oh I love you too Bert Alfred!" They stayed wrapped up in each other's embrace.

"Mrs Mary Alfred… That has a nice ring to it."

* * *

The wedding was a simple affair – it had to be with how quick they wanted to marry. Somehow they had managed to find a small church that would marry them in just over two weeks. It was a small ceremony with less than twenty people attending including the two of them, Uncle Albert, some of Bert's fellow sweeps and of course the Banks'. Mary didn't have many friends of her own, her schedule simply didn't allow it. She had no bridesmaids and had asked Winnifred Banks and Jane to help her get ready. Jane sat in the chair facing Mary while her mother fastened the buttons on the back of her dress. She gazed up at her as she was an angel who had fallen right out of heaven.

"You look lovely Mary Poppins!" She exclaimed. Mary smiled at her reflection in the mirror, she couldn't help but agree with the young girl. She wore a simple yet elegant white, cotton dress with chiffon sleeves. It was well fitted as she simply couldn't stand big fluffy dresses with hundreds of underskirts. Her hair had been pulled up into a pretty updo and she did not wear a veil or tiara but had antique bun pin that she had clipped at the back of her head. Winnifred was fastening the buttons at the back of the bodice while Mary finished her makeup with a little bit of lipstick.

"Are you nervous dear?" Winnifred asked her as she fastened the last few buttons.

"Not at all, we've been together for so long and we love each other very much… It's almost like we have been married all this time." Mary replied.

"He has such a big heart. You're very lucky."

"I know."

"With all due respect Missus Banks but I think you'll find that I'm the lucky one." Said a voice from the other side of the room. Mary turned around to see her husband to be.

The way Bert looked at her when he entered the little dressing room erased any questions Mary had in her mind about him. The wonder and amazement in his eyes like he was seeing her for the first time - really, truly seeing her. "Wow." He sighed. There was a hint of sadness in his voice but his smile never faltered, the realisation that he would be leaving her in less than 24 hours hit him like the artillery from the weapons that were currently destroying Europe.

"Bert! It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding." Jane remarked indignantly. Bert's eyes stayed fixed on his wife-to-be.

"It's worth the risk." He grinned.

"Darling, let's give Mary Poppins and Bert a minute to themselves." Winnifred said as she escorted Jane from the room. Mary spun slowly, showing off all the features of her dress.

"Well, what do you think?" She asked.

"Mary Poppins, you look be-au-tiful!"

"Do you really think so?"

"Cross me 'eart ya do! Like the day I met ya!"

"You look fine too… Your tie's not right though." Bert raised an eyebrow as he watched Mary readjust his tie. "Much better."

"Not bad… You're gonna make some bloke really happy one day." He teased.

"Cheeky!" Mary slapped his chest and made to move away from him when he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back.

"Where d'ya think you're going? Don't you know a kiss from a sweep is lucky?" He gently brushed his lips against hers.

"True, but you're not a sweep anymore, you're a soldier."

A deafening silence washed over the room, the very thing that had been unspoken of since Bert's proposal had resurfaced, it always did. Bert stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "I'll be back before you can miss me…Besides, Jane and Michael will keep you plenty busy in the meantime." He whispered.

"You should go darling, Uncle Albert will have a fit if he catches you here." She turned her back to him, afraid she might cry. Bert wrapped his arms around her small frame, planting gentle kisses on her neck.

"Why did you decide to return to the Banks'? Why not go to a new family?"

"I never explain anything Bert, you know that." He smirked as he leaned in to give her another kiss, which was how Uncle Albert found them not a moment later.

"What on earth are you doing here my dear boy?! It's bad luck to see her in a dress before the wedding!" Uncle Albert exclaimed as he tried to shoo Bert from the room.

"Uncle Albert, the wedding is in five minutes!" Bert replied with a huff as Uncle Albert pulled him away from his fiancé.

"Exactly! You should be at the front of the altar."

"Alright, I'm going." Bert rushed back over to Mary and embraced her once more before leaving. "I love you, my darlin' girl!"

"I love you too Bert."

"Out!" Uncle Albert cried.

"Love you Uncle Albert!" Bert flashed his trademark cheeky grin and Mary giggled at her foolish husband to be as he left the room.

Uncle Albert took his niece's hands in his own. "Are you ready, my dear?" He asked.

Mary took a deep breath, it was really happening. In just minutes she would be Mrs Alfred, she began to tremble but nodded her head boldly. Uncle Albert's eye began to fill with tears.

"You look so beautiful, my dear." He cried happy, proud tears while Mary searched for a handkerchief to dry his eyes.

"Oh Uncle Albert! Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry dear, I'm just so very proud of you… As would your parents be if they were here." Mary felt herself well up at the mention of dear parents, she forced the tears back.

"Well, it can't be helped. As much as I would like them here to give me away, they'd be very happy that I have you here." She kissed her uncle's cheek as he wiped away his tears.

"Exactly! So let's get this show on the road!" Mary took Uncle Albert's arm as they prepared to leave the dressing room and head out into the church as they heard their introduction being played on the piano.

* * *

Later that evening, Bert sat up in bed twisting the gold ring around his finger as he waited for his wife to return from the bathroom… His wife… He loved saying it! Mary was now his wife, he admittedly thought it would never happen but now it had he was understandably nervous about their first night together – and their last for a long time! Mary slid back into their bedroom shyly and shut the door behind her. She wore a long, silky undergarment that clung to her curves of her body as she floated into the room He drank in her appearance like it was a fine wine, craving more and more of her. He gulped forcefully, trying to swallow the lump in his throat that had formed quite suddenly.

"Hello…" She smiled as climbed into bed next to him.

"Hello." He croaked in reply. They sat in an awkward silence for a moment, while some of their

recent encounters had left them quite flushed and breathless, this was unchartered territory – or at least it was while they had been together. Bert turned towards and began to stroke her bare skin.

"Are you nervous?" He whispered.

"A little… what about you?" Mary asked. Bert nodded in response, he moved closer to her, placed on hand on her hip and leant into kiss her softly.

"Is this ok?" He asked. Mary nodded. He continued moving his kisses down her neck all the way down to the top of her breast.

"Is this ok?"

"Bert, you don't need to keep asking if it's ok." She pulled his lips to hers for a tender kiss and felt a wave of lust wash over her. She deepened the kiss and pulled him down on top of her. Bert shifted above her, careful not to put his entire weight on her. He placed a hand on either side of her head.

"Oh, my hair." Mary whispered as she wriggled loose. Bert apologised and repositioned himself. Mary let her fingertips trace the muscles of his back. His mouth crashed down on her once more and they lost themselves in a passionate kiss that left them trembling and aching for more. Mary moaned as Bert began to move down her neck. He made a move to go back up to her lips, slipped and smacked his head against hers. "Ow!" They both said in union before giggling. Bert sighed and rolled off her.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going? You finally get to have your wicked way with me." Mary giggled as she rolled over to him and started planting gentle kisses on his chest. Bert rested his hand on his wife's hip.

"I know, I want to but I keep slipping on your nightdress."

"That's ok darling, I'll take it off." Bert tried to protest but Mary had already slipped the thin material off and discarded it on the floor. Bert gulped as he gawped at his completely nude wife and tried to hide his very obvious arousal. Even after all the years together, he felt guilty for desiring her like this. Even before their relationship when he was with other women, he would think of her. Imagining it was her that he was undressing and taking to bed. He imagined how her skin would taste, how it would feel to be buried deep inside her and being the one to make her gasp. While she was most definitely the woman of his fantasies, he couldn't help but worry that he was not the man of hers.

Mary tried to make eye contact with her husband but he seemed fascinated by his hands that lay across his lap. "Bert look at me." She said as she tilted his face towards her. "I am not a nun… You don't need to treat one."

"I know love… but I've been waiting for this for so long and now it's here – I just don't wanna do anything to mess it up… I want it to be perfect." Mary gazed at him momentarily before climbing on to his lap.

"Bert we don't need to be perfect, in fact I don't want us to be. I love you, you're my husband. I know it's not going to be all sunshine and daisies and I know it's going to take a while for us to figure out what works for us, but there's no one else I want to spend time figuring it out with." Bert grinned and kissed her lips.

"Y'know that is possibly the most romantic thing you've ever said to me." He smirked. Mary giggled as she repositioned herself in his lap so that she was straddling him.

"Well in that case, I would like to make love to my husband on our wedding night, if you don't mind." Mary leant in and kissed him for all she was worth. Her hands reached for his hair, shoulders, face, anything she could hold onto as Bert rolled on top of her. The world around them began to fade away and almost at once they were among the stars.

Afterwards, Bert fell asleep, safe in the knowledge that his wife was in his arms. She lay upon him, their legs still entwined, her hair cascading over his chest and she looked up at his sleeping face trying to memorize every feature. She let her fingers gently stroke the fine hairs on his chest as she woke him up with feather light. Bert groaned and wrapped his arms tighter around Mary.

"It's 2 o'clock in the mornin' love, go to sleep." He mumbled.

"I need to tell you something." Mary replied.

"I have to be up in 3 hours, can it wait?" Mary shook her head.

"No… Before when you asked me why I was returning to the Banks', I didn't tell you but I want you to know." Bert wiped the sleep out of his eyes and noticed for the first time that Mary had been crying.

"When I was away with different families all over the world, you stayed in London despite never knowing when or even if I would return."

"It didn't matter, I wanted you to know I was always there for ya when ya came home."

"I know, Bert. You were always there… So I'm going to do the same for you. I'll wait for you, so you know I'll be there for you when you return." She took Bert's hand and kissed it before letting it rest against her slightly damp cheek.

"I love you, Mary." He whispered. She allowed him to make love to her once more before finally succumbing to sleep and when she woke up the next morning, she found his side of the bed empty except a note that promised his love and that he would see her again very soon.

* * *

 _ **6 months prior to the present day**_

Mary had been in hospital for over 3 weeks now and the doctors had confirmed everyone's worst fears, the cancer had spread to her lungs and there was nothing they could do to stop it from taking over her body like a demon. Her youngest granddaughter, Lucy, had only just found out the seriousness of her grandmother's hospitalisation after reading a text to Liz from her aunt Rose, proving it to be true. She hadn't wanted to sneak around them but she knew they had been keeping something from her. As soon as she spotted the offending text message, she headed straight to hospital to see her nana.

"Hello darling... What are you doing here? I thought you were going out tonight." Mary murmured sleepily as she spotted Lucy making her way over to her bed.

"Hi Nana." Lucy smiled. She leant down and gave Mary a hug and kiss, it took all the strength she had to let go as she didn't know many more chances she had to cuddle her nana.

"Well as happy as I am to see you, this is not a great place to be on your birthday. You should be out enjoying yourself."

"There's no one else I'd rather spend my birthday with." Lucy kissed her grandmother's forehead again and squeezed her hand in her own.

"What about your friends? Or a boyfriend?"

"Please Nana, I've no time or patience for a boyfriend." Lucy snorted. "Oh! I managed to sneak this past the nurses." She pulled a tupperware box out of her bag and opened it up to reveal a large slice of gingerbread cake.

"Oh you naughty girl! How did you get that in?" Mary sat up carefully as Lucy began to dish the cake onto two paper plates.

"The nurses never check... Look what else I managed to sneak in." She pulled out a flask. "Just a touch of rum punch." Mary's eyes widened and she smiled widely.

"Right then, you better close that curtain so no one catches us."

After polishing off the gingerbread cake and a cup of rum punch each, the two women were in high spirits and giggling behind the curtain. "You did not put Grandad's clothes on the roof!" Lucy giggled perching on the end of Mary's bed. She was swaying gently as the rum punch left her with a pleasant hum.

"I did! I asked him to put his dirty clothes in the wash 3 times and I came home from work to find that they were still on the bedroom floor... so I put them on the roof... I tell you what he always put them in the wash from then on!"

"See that's why I can't be bothered with men."

"Ahh, it's all worth it for the right one… Promise me something darling."

"Of course Nana."

"When the right man comes along, you won't shy away from him… You'll be brave and take the leap... Don't take as long as I did."

"Okay, I promise."

"Good girl… And bonk his brains out!" Lucy's eyes widened in pure horror! Mary laughed at the face her granddaughter was pulling.

"Ohhh Nana! I can't believe you just said that!" Mary just giggled until Lucy joined her. Eventually Lucy's laughter died away and she sighed deeply before saying:

"Grandad was a good man?" There was a twinge of sadness in the young woman's voice when she spoke about the grandfather she never knew and now she was about to lose the only grandparent she had.

"Yes darling, he was." Mary took her granddaughter's hand in her own. "Are you ok sweetheart?"

"I know about the cancer Nana." Her eyes were filled with unshed tears.

"How did you find out?" Mary asked and she held Lucy while she sobbed.

"Saw a text on Mum's phone from Aunt Rose." Lucy replied.

"You know, spying is very unbecoming for a young lady." Lucy let out a wet laugh through her tears. She looked up at her grandmother and gave her a weak smile. "Oh darling, death is just a natural part of life… It happens to us all one day as much as we wish we could live forever."

"I don't want to lose you!" Mary placed a wrinkled hand on Lucy's cheek and briefly wondered when they had appeared, had it been before or after she lost her husband? Finally she spoke the words that Bert had said to her many years before: "You will never lose me, darling. If you keep a small place for me in your heart, you'll never be without me." Lucy rested her head on Mary's heart and continued to cry out her anguish.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Okay this one is not my best chapter and is probably far too long but as I've already mentioned I'm trying to get the Christmas chapter (which'll be the next one!) in on time so I've been writing like a craaaaazy person! I've still lots more editing that I want to do with this chapter but for now it will do :D As always please review, as I love feedback even if it's constructive criticism.**_

 _ **I hope you all have a very lovely Christmas and get some lovely presents off Santa :D**_

 _ **Kelly xx**_

1916

 _Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,_

 _Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag._

 _"Feed the birds," that's what she cries,_

 _While overhead, her birds fill the skies._

 _All around the cathedral the saints and apostles_

 _Look down as she sells her wares._

 _Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling_

 _Each time someone shows that he cares._

 _Though her words are simple and few,_

 _Listen, listen, she's calling to you:_

 _"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,_

 _Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag. "_

 _Though her words are simple and few,_

 _Listen, listen, she's calling to you:_

 _"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,_

 _Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag. "_

Mary sang as she rocked the one year old child in her arms. She stroked the little girl's silky blonde hair as she drifted off. Her eyelids fluttered as she tried to fight the overwhelming urge to sleep, but she was no match for Mary's heavenly sound. Before long the little one was fast asleep but Mary continued to hum quietly to ensure she was out like a light. "You're so good with her." Said a quiet voice from the other side of the nursery.

"Jane Banks, you're supposed to be asleep." Mary scolded as she glanced up at the teenage girl. She smiled fondly as she thought about how she'd seen the girl blossom from a giggly little 9 year old girl to a beautiful young woman. "So are you Mary Poppins." Jane grinned.

"Will you put her back in the crib for me?" Jane took the sleeping baby from Mary and gently placed her in the crib. She gazed fondly at the little baby and leant down to tuck her in.

"Do you ever think of having a baby of your own, Mary Poppins?" Mary deliberated for a moment. She spent so much time taking care of other people's children, she always assumed that she wouldn't want any children of her own and that it would turn her off having them, but lately she'd begun to reconsider. She wasn't sure if it was because she was spending so much time looking after the latest Banks child, because she wasn't far off her thirties or because she missed her husband and would do anything to have a little piece of him with her.

Bert had been away for 18 months now, and of course there was his weekly letters to let her know he was still alive, but she still had no idea when she would see him again. The war had been raging for 2 years and it was showing no sign of stopping for a long time. In every letter she sent back to him, she willed him to carry on, to keep surviving so that one day he could come home to her.

"It's a little difficult to have a baby with your husband fighting in a war." Mary sighed. It was upon seeing the sadness in Mary Poppins' eyes that Jane made a brave move and reached out to take Mary's hand within her own. "Have faith." She said. "He'll be home soon." Mary smiled at the young girl, she squeezed her hand before lifting herself out of the rocking chair.

"Come on, it's late and we should both be in bed." Mary stopped by the crib before leaving the nursery with Jane. She leant down and stroked the baby girl's cherub cheek. "Goodnight Emma, sweet dreams little one."

* * *

The following day, Mary sat in the lounge enjoying a pleasant cup of tea with Winnifred Banks while she played with baby Emma. Mary smiled as she watched Winnifred tickle and blow rasberries on the little girl's belly. The baby girl squealed in delight as her mother's lips tickled her stomach. " 'gain… 'gain." Emma giggled, her lips not quite being able to form both syllables of the word "Again." Mary had to laugh at how the baby never grew tired of the game but she could tell Winnifred was. That was the thing with little ones, it was the simple things in life that amused them but it could be hard work. Mary eventually decided to rescue the poor woman before she ran out of oxygen. "It's time for Emma's afternoon sleep, I'll take her up to the nursery." She lifted the little girl out of her mother's arms and carried her upstairs.

Mary placed the baby in her crib and wound up the mobile to help her get to sleep. Emma was not for drifting off though, she wanted to go back downstairs and play with her mummy. She screamed until she was blue in the face, Mary paid her no attention and began knitting knowing that she would eventually wear herself out and drift off to sleep. As usual, Mary's instincts were correct. The little baby had eventually soothed herself and fallen into dreamland. Mary stood up and crept over to the crib to watch Emma snooze, her thumb hanging close to her mouth. Mary leant down and kissed the infant before exiting the nursery.

On the staircase she heard frantic, hushed voices getting louder as she moved closer to them. She slowly walked down each step, her skin unexplainably clammy. After what seemed an eternity she reached the owners of the desperate voices and saw George and Winifred Banks facing a soldier, both wearing solemn expressions. The young soldier turned to face Mary and almost instantaneously her heart felt heavy like the moon.

"Mrs Alfred?" He asked.

"Yes." Mary answered, somehow finding control of her shaky voice. The soldier took off his hat, Mary shook her adamantly. Her eyes were filling with tears.

"Mrs Alfred, it's your husband… He was shot in the chest last night." Mary heard no more after that, she suddenly felt as though she were drowning, drifting further and further beneath the surface into utter darkness.

"George!" Mary heard Winnifred Banks call out before she realised she really was falling. She did not stop it from happening, she felt no desire to protect herself from pain as she realised nothing could hurt more than this very moment. Before she could hit the floor, a pair of strong arms caught her and held her firmly against the wall. "Mary Poppins… Listen to me now, he's alive!" Mr Banks spoke firmly. She looked up at him in disbelief, she was trembling uncontrollably but George and Winnifred held her upright to stop her from crumbling to the floor. "Yes, he's in bad shape but he's still alive and he's coming home… We've arranged for him to be transferred to a hospital in London where he'll get the very best care." Mary could no longer speak, Bert was wounded and he needed her. Her mind was swimming with all the possibilities, what were the chances of his survival? What if he were to pass away before he even got home? Could she fly to him now? He must have been so frightened – she just had to see him! But then again she thought about how angry he'd be if he found out she went flying out into active warzone. And then Mary did something that she had never done before in front of an employer (or anyone other than Bert), she broke down and began to sob. George looked over at his wife, a look of panic evident on his face, she shook her head and wrapped her arms around Mary, letting the younger woman's head fall on her shoulder. "It's alright… Bert is going to be ok." She soothed. Mary knew it was a pie crust promise but it gave her a little bit of hope.

* * *

Mary listened to sound of her footsteps clicking down the marble floor of the London hospital that Bert had been transferred to after he'd been shot. It was far too cold in there, no place for the sick, the old, the young or even her husband who had been so brave and strong over the last 18 months. She passed a few wounded soldiers in the corridor, some of whom were clearly having to learn to walk again after their ordeal. Some were missing limbs or wore bandages but almost all of them had the same hardened expression whether they were fully grown men or teenage boys, not much older than Michael. It was the expression that told a story of the horrors they'd seen while on the front line, that revealed they were no longer the same happy-go-lucky lads they once were. It made Mary wonder if she would see the same in Bert.

She straightened her hat and clutched her carpet in her hands as she approached the nurse's station. "Herbert Alfred please… I'm his wife." She bleated.

"Of course Mrs Alfred, follow me please." The young nurse chirped as she stood up from her seat and led Mary on to the ward. They walked passed the beds of soldiers until they finally reached the one soldier Mary wanted to see. If the nurse hadn't stopped, Mary would've never recognised her husband. The tan he once had from working all day in the sunshine had faded and he was now a sickly grey colour, his limbs were scrawny from the lack of a decent meal, his beard was patchy and there was an oxygen mask fixed on to his face to help him breathe. The nurse left them alone and closed the curtain to give them some privacy.

Mary stood staring at Bert for a moment before taking a seat in the chair beside his bed. "Oh darling." She murmured. He looked cold and she couldn't allow that. She opened her carpet bag and rummaged through before she found the extra blanket she carried around with her. She draped it over her sleeping husband. Her hand barely grazed him when he awoke with a jolt.

"Bert… Darling it's ok, it's me." Mary soothed as Bert became panicked and restless. As he settled down Mary noticed how he was struggling to catch his breath. She stroked his hair gently. "Mary?" Bert wheezed.

"Yes sweetheart, it's me." He gazed at her perplexed for a moment, almost as though he'd forgotten he was no longer on the front line and that he was still dreaming about her. Suddenly his lips stretched into a wide smile. He reached for her hand and said: "My darlin' girl."

Bert moved his hand to face and pulled down the oxygen mask. "Bert what on earth are you doing? Put the mask back on!" Mary exclaimed.

"I wanna kiss my beautiful wife." He said in a raspy voice.

"Bert! Don't be ridiculous, you can't breathe!"

"I'm not puttin' it back on until you kiss me." Mary could tell he was starting to struggle and through fear that she was about to kill her husband, planted a quick kiss on his lips before fixing his mask. She lingered over the bed for a few seconds longer - it was the closest she'd been to him in 18 months. She gave him a stern look as she pulled away, his breathing still coming up in gasps.

"I hope that was worth it, now you can't breathe." Bert gave her a cheeky grin before uttering: "Well worth it... I missed you." Mary's face softened and she laced her fingers through his.

"I missed you too darling."

"So tell me what's been going on…I wanna know everythin'." Bert said. "How are the kids?"

"They're great Bert! Jane is becoming such a beautiful young woman and so clever too, hopefully Mr Banks will let her go to university in a few years. Michael is the same as always – he questions everything. And he's almost as tall as you!" Mary laughed.

"Gracious! How does that feel?"

"Embarrassing, especially when I'm trying to scold him and I have to make him sit down!"

"I miss 'em."

"Oh darling they miss you too. When you feel a little better, I'll bring them to see you… Oh Bert, wait until you see the baby, she's the sweetest little thing."

"Well now that I'm back we can start working on making our own babies." Bert winked at her, flashing her a cheeky grin as he ran a hand up her thigh.

"Bert! Honestly!"

They spoke for hours, way past the visiting times but no one had the heart to separate them. They talked about everything that had happened in the last 18 months – which mostly consisted of Mary telling him stories about what she had been up to with Jane and Michael. But it just felt like general chit chat and that they were really avoiding the big elephant in the room – what had happened to him in France. She knew he had deliberately kept things out of the letters to avoid upsetting her. She knew that he had faced horrors that she couldn't even imagine and even though she knew it would break her heart to know what he had been through, she wished whole-heartedly that he would confide in her.

Mary lay beside him on the bed, her fingers traced the bandage that covered the bullet hole in his chest. She remained silent, stroking his chest; listening to his heartbeat and letting him play with her hair. She nearly lost him. That was all she could think about. Another inch to the left and her husband would be dead. She tried to picture what her life would be like without him, would she still be working? Would she remarry? Her throat began to close up, the very thought of carrying on without him was unbearable.

A few weeks passed by before Bert's doctor allowed him to go home but he was on strict bed rest, meaning that Mary would have to be a full time carer for him. Doctor Smith was carrying out his final checks before releasing him.

"So what's the verdict Doc?" Bert asked his hand clasped in Mary's.

"Well Mr Alfred, you need to refrain from anything too physical atleast until your blood pressure goes down. I want you on complete bed rest, you are not to leave that bed unless you need the bathroom. You'll need to have your bandages changed daily and the wound cleaned with a damp cloth but other than that, I'm happy to say you'll make a full recovery." Doctor Smith smiled. Mary kissed her husband's cheek.

"Oh thank you doctor, that's wonderful! I'm so glad you'll be coming home darling."

"But what about you? You need to work."

"The Banks' have offered to let me have a few weeks off until you're on the mend."

"That was good of 'em."

"Yes... and it means I can be your full time nurse." Mary looked at him with a wicked glint in her eye.

"I like the sound of that." Bert smirked before pulling her in for a passionate kiss. Just as she was beginning to feel elevated by her husband's kiss, he pulled away quickly and fell back on to the pillow.

"Bert?" She asked, her voice full of questions and panic.

"I'm alright love, just a little dizzy." He reassured her.

"Yes I should've mentioned that... When I said you need to refrain from physical activity, I mean all kinds of physical activity." Smith informed him. Mary felt herself begin to blush whereas Bert's jaw dropped and he looked at the young doctor in horror.

"Doc, you can't mean-."

"Yes, for the time being, you need to keep it in your trousers."

"How long for?"

"Probably about two months."

"Two months?! Doc, I 'aven't been with my wife in over a year and a half, you're now telling me I've gotta wait another two months."

"Bert!" Mary scolded.

"Mr Alfred you've been shot in the chest, you should avoid anything that gets you too excited."

"Really? I can't even get a little bit excited... Not being funny Doc but it's not just "under my blood" that's blue." Mary was crimson at this point.

"I tell you what Mr Alfred, talk to me again when you can kiss your wife without getting dizzy."

"Not much chance of that happening doc."

* * *

When Mary got him home, Bert's injuries did not stop him from trying to seduce her and admittedly she did find it difficult to turn him down every time - even if it was for his own good. When she came into the room to readjust his pillows, he grabbed her waist and pulled her down on to the bed with him.

"Bert Alfred, what are you doing?" Mary scolded as Bert began planting gentle kisses down her neck. He untucked her blouse and let his hands wander over her skin.

"What does it feel like?" He crooned.

"I know what it feels like... It feels amazing!" Mary threw her head back to give him better access before she came to her senses. "Bert, you can barely move." She moaned.

"No but you can." He pulled her on top of him.

"Darling - the doctor said -."

"Forget what the doctor said..." He drifted off as he moved his lips up to hers. She allowed him to kiss her silly as his hand started working on the buttons of her blouse. Mary's whole body radiated with heat as she was unable to tell him no any longer. She lost herself in his kiss, and showed him how much she'd missed him. She was just about to take the remainder of her clothes off when he pulled away from her, his face turning purple as he gasped for breath.

"Alright Romeo, lie back... Men who have just been shot in the chest should keep their hands, or any other body parts, off their wives so I think that'll be enough of that, at least until you recover." She began to button up her blouse again.

"Wait." Bert croaked. Mary's hands paused on her buttons. He took her hand and gently pulled her back to the bed. He patted the pillow. "Stay for a while." Mary rolled her eyes but climbed into bed beside him nonetheless. Bert wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her chest. "I missed you." He murmured against her skin. "I couldn't sleep over there without you." Mary held him tightly and wiped a silent tear from her eye. She stroked the tendrils of his hair as she held him like a mother would hold her child, protecting him from the outside world.

For the next few weeks, Mary was at Bert's beck and call while he recuperated. She brought him his meals in bed, changed his bandages and kept his stitches clean, helped him to the bathroom and kept the bed comfortable with lots of blankets and pillows. Occasionally the Banks' would come to the house to visit, Winnifred and George would sit and have a cup of tea with Mary, asking if there was anything they could do to help, while Jane and Michael would go up to see Bert with baby Emma. Bert adored the little girl, he would pull faces at her to make her giggle and tickle her tummy. Afterwards he would give Mary a look that said he was desperate for his own. For the most time, Bert slept. He slept all through the nights and for most of the day. But Mary didn't. Whenever she slept, she was consumed by nightmares.

 _She was alone in a dead field, there was no sign of life around her – just death. She looked down at her dress trailing in the mud as she trudged on, half asleep. She was entirely sure of where she was going, all she knew was she had to keep moving and get out of smog. Death was all around her, she stepped over countless bodies knowing there was nothing she could do for them now – there was something else she had to do. In the distance she saw a tall figure staring across at her, she would know that silhouette anywhere. "Bert?" She asked. He hummed a familiar tune in response. She began to hurry over to him now, hoping to warn him of the imminent danger before it was too late. "Bert!" She called out louder but he was too far away to hear her. A shot rang out and the silhouette fell to the ground._

 _And then she was screaming._

Mary awoke with a jolt, her entire body covered in sweat. Almost instinctively, she reached out for Bert in the darkness. Her hand found his chest and she immediately began to search for a pulse. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt that customary thumping and woke him with a kiss. "Bert." She whispered, her voice wet with tears. It took a moment for Bert to realise he was no longer asleep.

"What is it love?" He murmured.

"You can't ever go back over there again."

"Darlin' what are you talking about?"

"You almost died Bert… You can't go back, ever."

"Love – "

"Don't tell me it's alright because it's not… I spent 18 months absolutely terrified that something awful was going to happen to you and then it did… I felt like I couldn't breathe, like it didn't matter if I lived or died because I thought I'd lost you! We've been given another chance here so I am begging you, please do not go back there when you recover!" Bert pulled his wife into his arms and let her sob for a moment, she clung to him like he was the only thing that mattered in the world.

"Darlin', I promise you I am not going anywhere for a long, long time…You're gonna have to try a lot harder to get rid of me." Bert flashed her his trademark grin, making her smile momentarily and when that didn't work for very long he gave her long, slow kiss, reminding her that he was very much still alive and his feelings for her hadn't changed. Mary was the first to break the kiss. "Bert… You're not getting dizzy?" She questioned.

"No I guess I'm not." Bert answered with a cheeky wink. He kissed her again with as much passion as he could muster, he pulled her nightgown over her head and rolled over so she was on top of him. The gentle sighs of two young lovers faded into the night as they thrived on being young and living in the moment. They knew that they wouldn't have forever and that, one day, their love affair would eventually come to an end. But they still had the here and now and that was all that mattered.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Well it's a little bit late but here it is my Christmas chapter as promised, I hope you enjoy, it's a combo of fluff and angst - set in two times again :P I hope you are having a lovely Christmas and you have an even better New Year. I'll be off to Paris in a few days, so I'll write again in the New Year :D Kelly xXx**_

 _ **Present day**_

"Mum? Why are we celebrating Christmas in November?" Lucy asked as she carried an array of Christmas presents down the street, trying to ignore the odd looks from passers-by as she did.

"It was your grandmother's idea… With your Uncle Matthew being back from America she thinks it'll be the last chance to get all the family together before… Well, you know." Elizabeth couldn't finish off the sentence, but Lucy knew what she was talking about. The family refused to acknowledge the illness that was currently swimming through Mary's veins and it was driving Lucy up the wall! In a few months at the most Mary would be gone and everyone was refusing to deal with it, they just kept on smiling and pretending it wasn't happening. As Lucy rounded the corner, she caught a glimpse of the house she'd spent many of her holidays. She smiled as she saw the swing set that had been standing for over 60 years, her grandfather had built it when he first learnt that he was going to be a father.

"Oi you two are late!" Rose grinned as she too came walking down the street towards the house – she was pushing a pram which carried her youngest grandchild. A baby boy, fast asleep and oblivious to the current family circumstances. Behind them stood the rest of Rose's family, 15 of them in total including herself and her husband! Lucy had given up on trying to remember all the names of her cousins and second cousins, etc because between Mary's three remaining children, she now had over 20 grandchildren and great grandchildren. She often wondered how they all managed to cram into the house that her grandparents had bought years earlier.

"So are you by the looks of it… And must you say 'oi' in such a manner. You don't half sound like Dad when you do." Liz scolded her older sister.

"And you don't half sound like Mum when you scold me… Don't worry dearest, Matthew's already there with the kids, so I'm sure they're keeping her plenty busy." The older woman fished through her pockets, for her key to the house before letting them all inside to greet the party.

Rose was right, Mary was far too busy to have even noticed that they were late as the house was already swarming with guests from her son Matthew's side of the family. There were children running around all over the place and Mary already looked exhausted. Exhausted but radiant. Even at 90 years old, Mary was a beautiful woman, the years had been very kind to her and she took deep pride in her appearance. To look at her from a distance, you'd never know she was in fact incredibly sick.

"Darling, could you take the hors d'oeuvres through to the other room please?" Mary asked Lucy as she came into the kitchen. Lucy took the plates off her grandmother.

"Nana, why don't you go and sit down? Me and Mum can take care of all this." Lucy suggested.

"It's alright sweetheart, if I sit down I probably won't be able to get back up again. You look very pretty by the way."

"Thank you Nana, not as pretty as you though."

"Well when you get to my age my love, any excuse to dress up and not look like an old woman is a blessing."

"You never look like an old woman Nana… I don't know how you do it."

"Do what darling?"

"All of this, getting everyone in the family together like this, remembering everyone's names… Everything you do, you're like The Bionic Woman!"

"Well I don't know who that is but it's just years of practice, my love." They were interrupted by a clinking of glasses. "Can I have everyone's attention please?" Matthew called from the living room. Mary led Lucy back into the living room where the rest of the family were.

Matthew was sat by the piano with a glass of champagne in hand. "I just wanted to say a few words before the children are put to bed and the adults are too drunk to remember anything." Everyone laughed. Matthew, like his mother, certainly had a way of getting the full attention of a room. "I want to say a massive thank you to the lady who has brought us all here today, my mother, Mary Alfred. Mum you are the most incredible person I have ever met. Without you, none of us would have become the people we are today. You and Dad raised us all with so much love and kindness and fun, you taught us that it was ok to be whoever we wanted to be and that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. You showed us that although life wasn't always going to be easy, if you had people around you who loved you, everything would be ok. We're all so proud of you Mum, and I know Dad -." Matthew's voice began to break as he spoke about Bert. Mary took her son's hand in her own which he gave a gentle kiss to – something he'd learnt from his father. "I know that Dad would be so proud of you too."

"Oh darling." Mary gave her son a kiss on the top of his head.

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to tell you all a story… One I heard so many times off Dad, I've got it memorised down to the letter… Mum and Dad's first Christmas together as husband and wife." The children all sat comfortable around the piano as they prepared to listen to Matthew's story.

* * *

 _ **Christmas Eve 1916**_

By Christmas Eve, Bert was back on his feet and was even starting to get back into work. With the cold weather sinking in he was doing less screeving but was selling more and more hot chestnuts. Mary agreed to let him go back out on the condition that he wrapped up warm and this meant hat, winter coat, jumper, two pairs of thick socks, gloves and thermal underwear. By the time Mary was satisfied, he looked like he was preparing for a trip to the Artic!

Mary was still working for the Banks' and balancing her time with looking after Emma and helping Jane and Michael with their school work. This Christmas, Bert had his hopes up for a white Christmas so he could take the Banks children out to play in it. Despite everyone telling him it was far too warm to snow, he never gave up hope.

Bert sat at the kitchen table drawing in his sketch book seeing as he couldn't go out with his chalks. He pushed up his glasses after they kept falling down to the edge of his nose. After spending almost 20 years up chimneys, and of course the 18 months he was on the front line, his eyesight was just not what it used to be. He paused and looked up when he heard a retching sound coming from the bathroom.

"Mary?" He called. "Are you ok?" Mary soon emerged from the bathroom dabbing her mouth delicately with some tissue, her skin sickly white and a little moist. "Yes, I'm just a little nauseous." She replied. She replied as she walked over to him. He placed a hand on her forehead. "You're not getting sick just before Christmas are you? You're not warm." "Honestly I'm fine, it's probably something I ate... That looks very pretty." She nodded down at the picture he'd just finished. It showed a charming little village covered with a white blanket of snow, a large tree in the centre with twinkly lights and a choir stood in front of it singing Christmas carols.

"One of your best yet." Mary complimented.

"Thanks love… How do you feel about a quick jolly holiday before heading to the Banks' for Christmas dinner?" Bert asked as he draped an arm around her waist, she manoeuvred out of his grip and made her way over to the stove to finish cooking breakfast.

"Oh darling, you know I wish I could but there's so much to be done before tomorrow."

"Speaking of which, wait 'til ya see the sledge I made for the kids… They'll love it!"

"It's not going to snow Bert, it's 7 degrees outside." Bert tutted and shook his head.

"Did Uncle Albert say if he was gonna make it to the Banks' tomorrow?"

"Yes, he won't be joining us." Mary had a smirk on her face, Bert realised she knew something he didn't. "He will be spending the day with a lady friend."

"Uncle Albert? How long 'as that been going on for?"

"Apparently not long after you came home… She's called Edith and he's quite taken with her."

"Oh really. So will we be 'earing wedding bells anytime soon?"

"I don't know… It's nice he has someone though." That was all she managed to get out before being cut short by another spell of nausea. She began gagging and quickly moved away from the stove. Bert's eyes widened. "You alright, love?" He asked.

"Fine, Bert." Mary took deep breaths as she felt the nausea starting to pass when suddenly she rushed over to the sink and vomited for the second time that morning.

Bert brushed the hair out of her face and stroked her back while she finished retching. "At this rate, you're not gonna be goin' anywhere tomorrow… Looks like you might have a stomach flu." Bert said as he helped Mary into a chair.

"I don't think so, I have no other symptoms… Maybe it's food poisoning… Did you cook the chicken properly last night?" Mary questioned.

"O'course I did love! I know how to cook chicken."

"Is there any left?"

"In the fridge." Mary gave Bert an inquisitive glance as she went over to the fridge to examine the chicken.

"Mary! Do you really not trust me? Honestly, I 'ave been cooking dinner for over 25 years I think I can manage to cook a chicken thoroughly without giving anyone food poisoning, I'm not gonna bloody well start now."

"Bert…" Mary turned to him, her face unreadable but she held up a piece of chicken that was bloody and pink.

"Oh." Bert murmured weakly. His wife just glared at him for a moment, waiting for an explanation. "Well that's a bit awkward I must say."

"Oh Bert! I don't believe this!" Mary yelled. She slammed the chicken into the dustbin.

"Darlin' I'm sorry!"

"It is Christmas Eve, not to mention our first Christmas together since we've been married, and you've poisoned me!"

"Yes but – not on purpose, love." Mary looked like she could kill him.

"Right well, I'm going to have to visit the doctor and see if he can give me anything for it… I won't have this spoil Christmas Day."

"Darlin' it's Christmas Eve, I don't think the doctor will be seeing anyone today." As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he knew it sounded ridiculous. Of course the doctor would see her, nobody said no to his wife.

"Fair enough, do you want me to come with you love?"

"I don't think so, those hot chestnuts won't sell themselves and I won't have them being wasted."

"Alright love, well ya know where I am if ya need me." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, knowing it was very difficult for her to stay mad at him for too long.

* * *

"Hot chestnuts! Get your hot chestnuts!" Bert called. It was dark and there was still no sign of his wife. He assumed she was still angry with him for poisoning her and had gone straight home. He began to pack up the cart and collecting his earnings for the day. At Christmas time, people were a lot more generous and were more likely to buy, this meant that Bert had done very well for the day. He would buy Mary something special with the extra earnings – partly as a Christmas present and partly as an apology for making her sick. He was just about to leave the park when he saw his wife heading towards him.

For a moment Mary didn't spot him, her mind was elsewhere. If he hadn't have reached for her arm and stopped her, she would have walked straight past him. "Hiya love… What's wrong?" He had been smiling down at her but it faded when he noticed that her eyes were red from crying.

"Oh, Bert…" Mary cried. She threw her arms around his waist and tucked herself away in his embrace.

"Darlin' what's the matter?"

"I just finished with the doctor…"

"What did he say? Is it worse than we thought?" Bert's mind was whirl of emotion and questions, was she dying?

"No Bert, it's nothing like that." Mary smiled. "Sweetheart, I'm expecting." Bert's mind went blank as he tried to comprehend the situation.

"Expecting what?" He asked. Mary rolled her eyes – he really did ask some stupid questions at times. She leant up and stroked his hair.

"A baby, Bert. We're going to be parents."

"A baby? Are you sure?" Bert asked flabbergasted. Mary nodded silently. Bert was speechless for a moment, he sat down on the nearest bench and took Mary's hands in his own.

"How do ya know?" He asked.

"Well I spoke to the doctor about my symptoms and he asked if it was a possibility… Then I realised I hadn't had my period for over two months and you and I haven't been… Well, we've not been exactly careful have we? So the doctor did a physical exam and he confirmed it, I'm pregnant." Bert let out a deep breath. He was going to be a father. His heart had well and truly started beating like a big brass band. The question was whether it was because he was excited or because he was terrified.

"Well this is amazing news!" Bert exclaimed as he pulled Mary into his arms and hugged her tightly, when she didn't return the embrace, he pulled away and gazed into her eyes. She was still crying. "Isn't it?" Bert asked as he wiped a few tears away.

"Yes of course, it's just…" Mary paused as she struggled to find the right words. "I'm frightened Bert. I've spent the last 10 years working with children so I know I can look after them but as a nanny not as a mother, what if I do something wrong? How are we going to be able to afford a baby? We're barely making ends meet as it is. And what about the house? There's so much work that needs doing on the house for it even to be safe for a baby! That's going to cost even more money." Bert silenced her with a loving kiss. She really did talk far too much at times.

When he pulled away, he took her face in his hands and rested his head against hers. "We'll make it work. We always do… You are going to make the best mother imaginable! There's no one else in the world I would want to be the mother of my children." He said gently

"Oh Bert! There's just so much we need to prepare for." Mary replied. She tucked herself further into his embrace.

"So we've got a long time to figure it out… Can we just be excited right now? We're gonna have a baby!" Mary giggled against his neck, she looked up at him, the love she felt for the man before her and the small being inside her was overwhelming.

"We're having a baby!" She sighed through happy tears, she wrapped her arms around her husband's neck and gently pressed her lips to his. "I love you so much."

"I love you too… Now, shut up so I can kiss you again." He brought her in for another kiss that took her very breath away. They were so wrapped up in each other that they failed to notice the gentle sprinkling of snow that began to fall on them like a light dusting of icing sugar on apple pie. To anyone looking on, they appeared to be figurines in a snow globe, trapped in their own perfect world.

* * *

 ** _Present Day_**

"Oh darling, I haven't thought of that first Christmas with your father in so long… Thank you my love." Mary exclaimed as she gave her son another kiss. "And while your father always argued that it was the pregnancy that made me sick, the undercooked meat certainly didn't help matters." The family giggled.

"Now, anyone who has ever spent a childhood Christmas here, know that Mum has a certain tradition on Christmas Eve." Matthew grinned as he began to play a tune on the piano.

"Matthew!" Mary scolded. "My voice isn't what it used to be." Everyone started cheering and encouraging Mary to sing. Matthew began playing a familiar melody and it didn't take Lucy long to recognise it. _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_ from _Meet Me in St Louis_.

 _Have yourself a merry little Christmas_

 _Let your heart be light_

 _Next year all our troubles will be out of sight_

 _Have yourself a merry little Christmas_

 _Make the yuletide gay_

 _Next year all our troubles will be miles away_

Lucy swallowed the large lump in her throat that had quite suddenly appeared when Mary started singing. Ever since she could remember, every Christmas Eve since she was born she had watched Meet Me in St Louis with her mother and grandmother and afterwards when Mary was tucking her in for bed, she would ask Mary to sing it for her yet again until she fell asleep. A silent tear slipped down her cheek.

 _Once again as in olden days_

 _Happy golden days of yore_

 _Faithful friends who are dear to us_

 _Will be near to us once more_

Granted Mary's voice was not as it used to be, she couldn't hit the same notes that she once could but it was still beautiful and flawless. Her voice had whimsical, playful tone as if she was telling a story through a song – a wonderful talent that some of the most gifted singers strived for, a talent that her granddaughter had inherited.

 _Someday soon we all will be together_

 _If the fates allow_

 _Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow_

 _So have yourself a merry little Christmas now_

"Lucy's crying." One of the little cousins announced at the end of the song. The family turned to face the young woman. The tears were now rolling freely down her face and she was struggling to catch her breath. She began to wipe the tears away.

"Lucy, do you need to step outside?" Liz asked impatiently. Lucy nodded as she began to find her voice.

"Yes… Yes… I'm sorry." Lucy gasped as she quickly made her escape from the room.

"Sweetheart!" Mary exclaimed as she went to follow her granddaughter.

"Mum, it's fine, I'll go after her." Liz followed Lucy out into the hall.

"What the hell do you think you are playing at? This is supposed to be a happy day!" Liz hissed as she caught up with her daughter in the hallway.

"Well I'm sorry Mum, I cannot control my emotions like you can, but I'm not a bloody robot! I can't decide when I cry!" Lucy yelled.

"Keep your voice down!"

"No I will not keep my damn voice down!" Lucy knew she was beginning pushing the boundaries with her mother but she couldn't take the ice cube act any longer, she couldn't keep on pretending like nothing was wrong. Nothing was fine anymore and Liz just would not deal with it.

"Stop this! You are spoiling the day and it is the last chance for us all to be together before..." Still Liz could not say the words.

"Say it Mum... Before Nana dies."

"I've had enough of this." Liz turned to walk away.

"It doesn't matter how much you try to deny it Mum, she's going to die and it's going to be awful."

"Stop it Lucy."

"Look at you, you can't even say the words. You wouldn't even tell me, I had to find out from Aunt Rose that my grandmother was dying."

"Lucy that's enough."

"Tell me did you feel anything when you found out, did you even once cry? Will you cry at her funeral or will you just sit there stone cold sober?"

"I said that's enough!" Liz slammed her hand against the wall. Lucy had got the reaction she had wanted, she felt sickeningly satisfied.

"Oh... So she does feel." With that, Lucy left the house, slamming the door shut behind her.

In the other room, the guests stayed quiet as they listened to the argument erupt between Lucy and Liz. Mary shook her head as the front door slammed shut and the whole house shook under the strain. She had to fix this and quick. One last job before the end.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hi all! Tried to update this earlier but it didn't quite work as I'd hoped... Anyway, Happy New Year! Yes it is three weeks late but the sentiment is still there :) Here is the next chapter, didn't get it up as soon as I'd liked to but I've been spending the majority of my evenings trying to tap dance - trying and failing! Just to let you know that there will also be some new stories this year, some of which will be a lot happier too so stay tuned :D**_

 ** _As always, reviews are greatly appreciated!_**

 ** _Love Kel x_**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

By the beginning of Spring Mary was already showing in her pregnancy, she could barely fit into her clothes anymore and it was driving her mad. She and Bert were about to attend their first doctor's appointment, they were admittedly very nervous about it but keen to hear that everything was fine with their baby.

"Mary love, are you almost ready? We need to be there by..." Bert's voice trailed off as he caught a glimpse of his wife's chest. Her breasts had grown to twice their original size and she could no longer fasten the buttons of her blouse passed her ample bosom.  
"Close your mouth please Bert, you are not a codfish." Mary scolded as she furiously tried to close the buttons. "Oh it's no use, I'm going to have to borrow one of your shirts."  
"When did they arrive?" Mary noticed that his gaze hadn't left her chest as she discarded the blouse.  
"Eyes up here Bert, and I don't know when. They just seemed to appear overnight." Bert still hadn't lifted his gaze from her chest and was now making his way towards her.

"Y'know maybe we can be a little bit late." He reached out for her but she slapped him away. "Aww come on love, me brother says we only get a couple of weeks before they get sore, might aswell make the most out of it." He wrapped his arms around her waist and began kissing her chest.  
"And how would your brother know that?" She shimmied out of his arms before looking through his shirts for one that would be suitable for her.  
"His missus was the same when she had their two little 'uns."  
"Oh I look ridiculous! I can't believe how big I am and I'm not even four months."  
"You've never looked more beautiful, love." He began unbuttoning the buttons she had only just fastened.  
"You have to say that, this is your fault."  
"Ey! You had just as much sex with me as I 'ad with you."  
"I'm not sure that's true actually... Urghh! Why do I bother?"  
"Don't worry love, we'll get you some new clothes that'll keep throughout your pregnancy... But in the meantime, you can keep borrowing mine." Bert smiled with a wicked glint in his eyes as he continued to unbutton the shirt his wife had just put on.

"Darling... We have to be at the doctor's in 20 minutes." Mary moaned as Bert planted gentle kisses along her chest.  
"Ahh so we'll be a little late." Bert smirked as he began to work on her skirt.  
"Fine... You can have six minutes."  
"That's all I need!" Mary squealed as Bert pulled her down on to the bed with him.

* * *

"Interesting shirt, Mrs Alfred." The doctor noted as he rolled up the shirt to expose her stomach.

"Thanks Doc, she pilfered it from me wardrobe!" Bert grinned. The doctor laughed as Mary gave Bert a stern look.

"Right Mrs Alfred, I'm just gonna have a listen to see if I can hear the heartbeat." He placed the stethoscope on her stomach and began to listen. He was quiet for moment, Mary squeezed her husband's hand tightly as she waited for the doctor to tell her everything was okay. Bert gave her hand a comforting kiss.

"Excellent that's a good, strong heartbeat!" The doctor smiled. Mary exhaled deeply and she let a few tears of relief roll down her cheeks.

"See I told you everything would be fine!" Bert exclaimed as he kissed his wife's cheek.

"I know, I know... oh I love you!" She giggled as he moved his kisses to her lips.

"Have you been feeling kicks?"

"Isn't it too early for that?"

"The baby's doing it right now." Bert quickly put his hands on her stomach.

"That's the baby kicking? Well I could feel that!"

"Yes, it can just feel like flutters in the first few months but yes that's your baby kicking." Mary rested her hand on top of Bert's.

"Can you feel it darling?" Bert nodded wordlessly, he rested his head against hers.

"Huh, that's interesting." The doctor mused.

"What is?" Mary asked.

"I'm picking up a second heartbeat here."

Mary and Bert froze in shock. "A... A second heartbeat." Mary stuttered.

"It has two hearts?!" Bert exclaimed. Mary rolled her eyes at her husband.

"Unlikely Mr Alfred... But I do think you have two babies in there."

"Twins?" Mary gasped.

"Are you certain, doc?"

"How far along Mrs Alfred?"

"Just under four months."

"Hmm it certainly would explain how big you are already." Mary looked like she could punch the young doctor.

"I'd be careful doc!"

"Let me have another listen..." He was quiet again while he listened to the heartbeat. "Yes you're definitely carrying twins."

* * *

"The main thing is not to stress about it." Bert stated later when they were back at home.

"How can we not stress Bert? Twins!" Mary exclaimed as she paced the room frantically.

"It's gonna be okay, love."

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one that has to give birth to them."

"Just think of it as two new humans to love instead of one."

"Yes and two extra mouths to feed... Oh Bert, we're only just managing as it is. How are we going to cope when they arrive? I can keep working for the Banks' as long as possible but when they're born I'll have to take some time off."

"Yes and I wouldn't have it any other way, love... I don't want you to worry about any of this, I'll take care of it. All I want you to focus on is keeping our babies healthy and happy... Listen I'm gonna go down to the watch factory in the morning and see if they have any job openings." Mary glanced up at him, the panic evident in her face.

"Bert I can't ask you to do that!"

"You're not asking me, it's my idea."

"Darling, you and I both know that you are not suited to that type of job."

"It'll just be temporary until something better comes along and to give us some steady income... Yeah it won't make us rich but it'll keep our heads above water. Besides, you know what they say - kids don't miss what they don't have to begin with." Mary smiled and leaned in to kiss her wonderful husband. She let him hold her for a little bit longer.

"Our children might not have riches or anything like that but they'll have something better."

"Oh yeah. What's that?"

"You as a father." She kissed him gently once more.

* * *

Over the next few months, Bert began to develop insomnia while his wife slept peacefully beside him. With every passing day, Mary's stomach got bigger and bigger as she prepared to birth their twins and the more Bert thought about the looming arrival of his children, the more he began to panic. Yes, he couldn't be more excited to meet them and every time he felt them kick his heart gave a little flutter. He already adored his babies and he hadn't even met them yet. But he was terrified. Terrified about whether he'd be a good dad, how he was going to provide for them and give them a decent life.

His new employer was also not making things any easier on him either. He absolutely hated the job in the factory, the pay was poor and the hours long and boring. His new boss had taken an instant dislike to him from the moment he started at the job. He was always coming up with reasons to bring him in and discipline him. When Bert had first started at the job, he was friendly, energetic and full of enthusiasm - the manager made sure he'd beaten any of that character out of him.

So, when Bert couldn't sleep at nights, he sketched. Since he no longer had time to do his screeving, this was the only way to do what he truly loved. As usual he sketched downstairs in the kitchen with very little light so he didn't disturb his heavily pregnant wife. That didn't stop her from coming to find him during the early hours of the morning.

Mary waddled up behind him, her large belly bumping into him, and rested her hands on his shoulders. "Bert, it's 1am..." She murmured sleepily into his hair.

"Can't sleep. Thought I'd catch up on my sketches."

"You've been struggling to sleep a lot recently." Bert peered up at her through his glasses. "Come on Bert, your babies use my bladder as a squeeze toy every hour or so. Do you think I wouldn't notice that my husband wasn't sleeping next to me? Is everything ok? Because if it's a problem at work-"

"I'm fine love... Honestly, I just wanna finish this and then I'll be right up."

"Okay, don't stay up too late my love." She kissed his head before heading back to bed. That night he didn't go to bed until 4am.

* * *

"Hey Bert! Wake up mate!" A voice called out, disturbing Bert from his slumber.

"Sorry, I must've nodded off for a moment." Bert murmured sleepily as he glanced around at his surroundings. He was in work and his colleague, Harry, was shaking him awake.

"Jesus! You wanna be careful mate, if Rowbottom catches you, yer in for it!"

"Won't happen again." Bert rubbed his eyes and continued with his work.

"The missus keepin' you up at night?"

"Errr yeah." It was a lie but Bert didn't want anyone knowing that his lack of sleep was due to a deeper problem.

"When's she due to deliver those little'uns of yours? Gotta be soon right?"

"Any day now."

"Ahhh well you need to get as much sleep as you can mate... You won't sleep for 18 years once they arrive!"

"ALFRED!" A voice boomed. Bert turned to see his boss, Jim Rowbottom, making his way to his work station. "My office, now!" Bert sighed as he followed his manager to his office.

* * *

Bert trudged home later that evening, wondering how he could possibly tell his wife about what had transpired that afternoon in work. It had been coming for a long time though. The factory had broken him down until he was nothing more than a shell of a man and he had finally reached boiling point. Reluctantly he put his key in the door and let himself into their small house.

Mary was fast asleep on the couch, a blanket strewn carelessly across her and her hands rested on her stomach. Bert smiled weakly to himself before his face drooped. How could he tell the woman he loved that he had let her and their children down? He knelt down beside her and gave a gentle kiss to her forehead. She yawned and stretched out as she began to wake from her peaceful slumber. She smiled sleepily at him before noticing the expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I've lost my job at the factory." He said.

Mary sat bolt upright, her eyes widened in fear.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Well I fell asleep at my station as I didn't get much sleep the night before. Anyway Rowbottom was screaming and shouting at me and... I dunno, something in me snapped. Next thing I knew I was shouting back and telling him where to stick his job... I might've also called him a boring old bastard." Mary was trying to look serious but was finding it hard to keep the smirk off her face after that.

"You called Jim a boring old bastard?"

"Yeah... I'm so sorry love! I know I should've held me tongue... I'll go back in tomorrow and beg for my job back."

"You will do no such thing!"

"But love -."

"No Bert! You have been miserable at this job for months... If this means I can finally have my husband back, it's for the best."

"Mary, the babies are due any day now..."

"Remember what you said... Children don't miss what they never had."

"Yeah like toys and new clothing."

"They'll have food, a roof over their heads and you... And that's better than all the toys in the world."

"You're gonna be an amazing mother!"

"Exactly! What could be better than us for parents?" Mary giggled and gave him a gentle kiss. "I'm going to make a cup of tea... You look like you could use it." Bert watched Mary disappear into the kitchen before standing up and making his way over to the phone.

He dialled his boss' number and waited sheepishly for an answer.

"Hello Jim? Yeah it's Bert Alfred... Yeah, I know what I said was outta line... Please Jim, my wife is expecting twins any day now and I've just been under so much pressure." Bert was so engrossed in his conversation that he didn't hear Mary come back into the room until she took the phone from him.

"Piss off, you boring old bastard!" She exclaimed before hanging up the phone.

Bert stared at her in utter disbelief, his head not quite comprehending what had happened. "Mary you just... I can't believe..." He stuttered over his words. Eventually they both started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Mary brought him closer for a hug, her hands gently caressing his hair. Bert felt himself relax under her touch, she always knew how to make things better.

"We'll work it out, sweetheart." She whispered. Bert gently pulled out of her embrace to look down at her. He took her face in his hands.

"I know... I love you." He said as he moved in for a kiss. He tried to pull away but she just held onto him tighter and deepened the kiss. She began unbuttoning his shirt as he pushed her against the wall and moved his hands under her blouse. Mary let out a groan as she pulled her lips away from his. "Oh my god!" She moaned.

"I know!" Bert replied as he began an attack on her neck with his mouth.

"No, no, Bert stop!" Bert pulled away and noticed she was clutching her stomach. "I think I'm in labour."

"Now?!" Bert exclaimed as he got over the initial shock.

"Oh definitely... That was a contraction!"

"Right what should I do?"

"Call the midwife... I'm gonna get in the bath as they said the warm water should - Ahhhh!" Mary stopped and took deep breaths for a moment.

"Alright love... You go and get in the bath and I'll call the midwife and tell her to come round... Mary!"

"What Bert?"

"We're gonna be parents." Mary smiled at him before giving another hug and kiss. Bert pulled away breathless and looked gazed into her eyes.

"Look I know we're pressed for time but do you think we have time to - ."

"No Bert, we don't!"


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hi all! I hope you're having a lovely start to the year. I just want to say a quick thank you for staying with this story, I hope you're enjoying it despite the constant flip flopping through different time periods! There's still a lot more story to go yet so your continued support and reviews will be greatly appreciated. Without further ado, here's chapter 8!**_

 _ **Love Kelly x**_

* * *

 _ **Summer 1917**_

"Matthew and Rose... The names are perfect for them." Mary announced as she and her husband hovered over their new-born babies. Mary looked up at Bert briefly to acknowledge him before her gaze fell back on her twins. 12 hours in labour and she had finally birthed the little boy and girl. Bert was ecstatic to have one of each, a little boy who he could teach all he knew about being a good man and a little girl who would be his little princess. He knew both his children would have the looks and intelligence of their mother but his great passion for silliness. He had been fantasising about their childhood for so long and now they were finally here, he could hardly believe his luck.

"I have a question... Without looking into their nappies, can you tell which is which?" Bert grinned.

"Of course I can, I'm their mother." Mary scoffed.

"Alright, you asked for it... Which one is that?" Mary gently touched the baby's soft skin.

"That's Rose." Bert smirked at her but she adamantly stood her ground. He reached into the crib to have a look in the baby's nappy.

"Mary I don't wish to alarm ya but our daughter has a right set of -."

"Bert!" Mary said a little too loudly, Bert shushed but was having a difficult time keeping the grin off his face. The babies stirred a little but did not wake. "Well even some mothers get it wrong when they haven't slept in over 24 hours."

"Get some rest love, the little 'uns will be up soon wanting feeding." Mary climbed into bed, not taking her eyes off her twins for even a second. She watched as Bert carefully lifted each baby out of the crib and placed a delicate kiss on each of their foreheads before putting them back to bed. The love in his eyes was so clear and prevailing that Mary realised, if possible, she loved him even more now as the father of her children.

"What's wrong love?" Bert asked as he noticed his wife was crying.

"Come here, darling." Mary beckoned as she held her arms out to hold him. He joined her in bed, his arm encircled her and she rested her head on his chest.

"I never thought I could love something this much... You; the babies, it's all I've ever wanted. Thank you, Bert."

"Eh... Shouldn't I be thanking you? You made 'em."

" _We_ made them and no, that's not what I'm thanking you for... Thank you for waiting for me."

Bert shot her a puzzled look, Mary rested her hand on his cheek. "If you hadn't waited, we wouldn't have them right now, we wouldn't have our family." Mary cried. Bert took her face in his hands and placed a loving kiss on her lips.

"I would wait a lifetime for you, my darlin' girl." Mary gave him a smile that she saved for him and him alone, she settled back on his chest and let him run his fingers through her hair.

"Just think, we could have another baby soon enough." Mary could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Please Bert, I don't even want think about having another one until the twins are two!" Little did Mary know that she'd be expecting again within the year.

* * *

 ** _The present day_**

Mary wasn't afraid to die. She had been preparing for her death for months now, her funeral was planned, she had sorted out her will, leaving various things to her children and grandchildren and was to be buried with her husband. The only thing she truly resented about dying was that it was longer than it needed to be. With every passing day, her tumour grew like the weeds in her perfect garden. It didn't matter how much she tried to eliminate the problem, it would continue spread until it had consumed all the beauty within her. No did it matter how much morphine she took, the pain would never go away; it would only take the edge off. Some days she was ok and the pain was manageable but other days she would scream as though a fire was coursing through her body. It was on these days that her family would realise that Mary's life was coming to an end and rather than rallying together they'd begun to turn on each other.

Mary lay in her bed listening to the radio, trying to forget about the excruciating pain she felt and counted down the hours until she could have some more morphine. She often thought it would be kinder if her nurses would let her overdose on the medication so she could drift away peacefully. "What do you mean you can't get back?" Mary heard Rose say in a hushed voice. She turned the radio down so she could hear her daughter more clearly.

"Matt… She's got weeks left at the most." Mary realised that Rose was talking to her brother and she was not happy with him at all.

"Yes I know you've only just left but she's deteriorating and this may be the only chance you get to say goodbye… No, fake Christmas did not count as a goodbye! Matt, she's our mother, you need to be here… Yes I know me and Liz are here but she deserves to have all of us here with her… Oh you know what, do what the hell you want!"

Mary listened as her daughter angrily slammed the phone down and fought back a choking sob. She tried to compose herself as she went back into Mary's room to collect her dinner plates.

"That was your brother I'm guessing." Mary breathed.

"You heard that?" Rose asked.

"I'm dying sweetheart not deaf." Rose looked down at the half eaten soup on the tray beside her mother's bed.

"And what's wrong with your soup?"

"I'll be sick if I have anymore."

"Are you still feeling nauseous? I'll see if the nurse can give you something for it."

"I'd much rather you tell me what all that was about with your brother." Rose tucked her hair behind her ears like she did when she used to get in trouble as a teenager. She wouldn't meet her mother's gaze.

"It's nothing for you to worry about, Mum." Rose said sheepishly. Mary gave her a stern look and Rose briefly forgot that she was a middle aged woman with children and grandchildren of her own.

"Matt's not coming home now... He said he won't be back 'til after you..." Rose's voice trailed off. Like her younger sister she couldn't bring herself to say the actual words.

"Well what did you expect sweetheart? He lives in America now, it's not like he can jump in the car and drive down the road anymore."

"I know but you're our mother... He should be here."

"Yes it would be nice to have him here but it's easier for him to deal with it this way. I don't resent him that and neither should you... Matthew and I have already said our goodbyes and I'm ok with that."

"I know you are Mum but... I need him here."

Rose was letting the tears roll freely down her cheeks. She'd hit the nail right on the head... She wasn't angry that Matthew wasn't here for their mother, she was angry because he wasn't there for her. Mary's gaze softened. "Oh sweetheart!" Mary sighed. She was so used to her daughters putting on a brave face and pretending to be fine that she often forgot how difficult this was for them too.

"I know Liz will be here, but Matthew's my twin. We shared a bedroom until we were eleven… I don't know how I can get through this without him."

"Well falling out with him certainly won't help matters… Like you said, you and he have a bond that can never be broken no matter how far away you are from each other or how difficult things get… Whatever you're feeling, he'll be right there with you feeling the exact same thing… Now, promise me you'll call him back and make amends."

"I promise, Mum."

"Good… Now to figure out how to get your sister and niece to work things out." Rose let out a very unladylike snort.

"I wouldn't even bother, Mum… There's some issues that even Mary Poppins cannot fix."

"Hmm maybe… But Mary Alfred knows her family."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hi all! Well Chapter 9 is up, I took a little more time writing this one because it's a pretty intense chapter and I wanted to do it justice :) Some of you may have figured out where I am heading with the story and will probably want to kill me halfway through the chapter but as I've mentioned it's a story with lots of ups and downs. Thank you again for all your reviews and followings and favourites and everything else you can do on here :D Anyway I'm off to Italy tomorrow so Ciao for now! Kelly xx**_

* * *

 _January 1919_

"Matthew Alfred! Come here this instant and put your nappy back on!" Mary exclaimed as she caught a glimpse of her 18 month old son's naked bottom racing off into the kitchen as he giggled and encouraged his mother to chase him. Mary was in hot pursuit of the nude toddler. She held her screaming daughter in one arm and the discarded clothing in the other. Matthew continued to giggle as he managed to dodge his mother yet again by running under the table and back into the living room. Mary, who was now seven months pregnant with her third child, stopped briefly to catch her breath and hoist Rose fully into her arms as she had slipped down so low, she now looked like she was running herself. The little girl let out another loud shriek in her mother's ear. "I know darling, I know… Matthew!"

By the time Bert had arrived home from work, Mary was completely exhausted and on the verge of giving up when her husband scooped up the little boy in his arms. "Hang on mate! Let's 'ave a bit of decency shall we!" Bert laughed as he took the nappy from Mary and wrestled his son back into it.

"Like father, like son." Mary muttered as she soothed Rose with gentle rubs to the back. The little girl was still snivelling and sucking her thumb.

"What's up with Rose?"

"I think she's got another tooth coming through, she's been weepy all day."

"Alright champ, on ye' way." Bert put Matthew back down on the ground and smiled fondly as the little lad continued to run around giggling. He had such an infectious, dirty little laugh that no one could help laughing along with him. In fact, he was surprised that they didn't all float off towards the ceiling whenever the little boy started giggling.

Bert made his way towards Mary and Rose and held his arms out to the little girl. "Will a cuddle with Daddy help?" He asked.

"No!" Rose cried as she tucked under Mary's chin. Bert pulled his best sad face to try and make the little girl change her mind but she wouldn't even look at him. It was all about Mummy. Mary smiled and kissed the top of Rose's head.

"Don't worry, she's just in a clingy faze."

"Yeah an' Mummy gives better cuddles so she does." He leant in a pecked her lips, his hands resting on her inflated stomach.

"How's the little man doing?"

"Kicking away… Anyway what makes you think it's a boy, we might have a girl."

"Just an' hunch." He smiled as he kissed the tip on her nose. "Oh, I got a surprise for ye'." With that he pulled a small book out of his satchel.

Mary's eyes widened as she smiled up at her husband. "Is it finished?" She asked.

"It's done… Cover, editing, illustrations, everything… The publishers want it in bookstores in the next few weeks."

"Oh Bert!" Mary threw her free arm around her husband and brought him into her embrace. After the twins had been born, and after he lost his job, Bert had begun occupying his time telling his new born babies stories to help them go to sleep at night – more often than not to let Mary get a bit of sleep but it gave him an idea. He typed up the stories and drew the pictures to go with them, he didn't expect anything from it, just something that his children could look back on one day with fond memories. But something did happen, George Banks called in a favour with someone he knew in publishing and the very next day Bert was called in to talk about his book. Finally, over a year later, the book became a reality.

"Oh darling I'm so proud of you… Can I have a look at it? Take Rose for a moment." Mary said as she place the squirming toddler in his arms and took the book from him. _Winds in the East,_ that was the title and on the cover she saw her own silhouette floating above the London skyline with her signature umbrella and carpet bag. She smiled fondly at the thought of her days as a nanny, the days that seemed long behind her after becoming a mother of two with a third baby on the way. She flicked through the book, smiling at all the pictures of her and the children she cared for over the years. "All the stories of a magical nanny and all the adventures she has with children and her charming chimney sweep!" Bert grinned.

"A magical nanny? Imagine that! Maybe not quite so magical these days." Mary sighed.

"Don't know what you're talking about… You're still pretty magical in my eyes." Mary leaned in and gently kissed his lips, her fingers stroking his chestnut tresses. "Daddy's an author, Rose! Isn't he clever? Yes he is!" She took the little girl back from him and spun her around. Bert laughed at how giddy she'd become, he loved seeing her that way and revelled in the fact that he was the one to bring out that side of her.

"Well… The best part is, now the book is done, I don't have to spend as much time at the office. I can be here and help you with the kids… Good timing as well now that the little man will be here soon."

"That sounds perfect." Mary said as she gave him another peck on the lips. She pulled away and smirked. "I still think we're having a girl though."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll see about that Mrs Alfred." Bert moved in to give his wife another kiss when Matthew's nappy came flinging between them once more. Mary looked up at Bert with a raised eyebrow.

"You really want to go through this again with another boy."

"Just think, he has a very promisin' career as a Nude Life Model."

* * *

A few nights later, in the wee hours of the morning, Bert awoke with a sharp intake of breath. He bolted up from his sleeping position as if he were possessed by the devil himself. He tried to cease his violent shakes but Fear had taken control over his body. He wasn't sure what it was, that had him so frightened; all he knew was that it was something terrible.

As soon as he'd managed to control his trembling, Bert rolled back over to his wife, he always felt better in the knowledge that she was safe in his arms. Mary's back pressed against him and he enveloped her in his arms, but something didn't feel quite right. He switched on the lamp next to the bed and stared at his hand. Blood.

With his heart racing, Bert pulled back the covers. It was everywhere. All over the sheets; on Mary's night gown. The whole bed was like a crime scene. Beads of sweat ran down his temple and he forced down the huge lump that had appeared in his throat. He had to wake her up. "Mary… Mary wake up." He shook her quite forcefully and let out a sigh of relief, when she opened her eyes to look at him. "Darlin' you're bleeding."

"What?" Mary gasped as she rolled over and saw all the blood on the bed. She began panting heavily and her face became as white as a sheet as her worst nightmare came flooding to the surface. She let out an agonised sob as she suddenly clutched her stomach, the pain was excruciating.

"Oh Bert! What's happening?" She cried.

"I dunno sweetheart but I'm gonna call for the doctor… Everything's gonna be okay." He gave her a comforting kiss but she just fell back on the bed in agony.

"That's a pie crust promise!"

"I know…"

* * *

Less than an hour later the doctor and midwife arrived along with Uncle Albert and his partner Edith who had come to take the twins. "How is she?" He asked as he took one of the sleeping babies from Bert.

"Okay… She's trying to put a brave face on but I can tell she's in agony." Bert replied sombrely. Another loud groan came from the bedroom. "I don't know what I can do to help her."

"Just be there… She's a strong, young woman, she'll survive this."

"I don't think that's what she's worried about." Uncle Albert gave a slow nod, knowing exactly what Bert meant. There was loud, piercing scream – Albert and Edith's cue to leave with the twins as Bert headed upstairs to be with his wife.

Bert rushed back into the bedroom to find Mary lying haphazardly on the bed, tears rolling down her ghostly white face. The doctor and midwife were at the foot of the bed urging her to push. "Doc, what's happening to her?" He asked weakly as he joined her on the bed and pushed her hair away from her clammy face.

"The placenta has separated from her uterus and she may be suffering from eclampsia… We need to get her to the hospital as soon as we've delivered the baby." The doctor informed them.

"Shouldn't we get her to the hospital now?"

"There's no time… This baby is coming now."

Mary shook her head adamantly. "No… No, it's too early." Mary sobbed, her fists curled around Bert's shirt and she tried to fight the pain.

"He's not waiting, love… You need to start pushing." Bert said as he stroked her hair.

"He'll die Bert!"

"You have to push… Stop fighting it sweetheart." Mary stared up at her husband with wide, terrified eyes, she trembled violently as she tried to fight against the contraction that was radiating through her body.

"Mrs Alfred, you need to push now" said the midwife with a gentle tone but Mary refused. She fought with every bit of strength she could muster to keep her baby with her. Bert could tell her resolve was crumbling against the urge to push. She gripped his hand and squeezed so tightly that the bones cracked beneath her fingers but he felt no physical pain.

"Let go, love." He murmured against her temple. Mary let out another distraught sob as she gave in and began to push.

* * *

A short while later Mary fell back on to the pillow, completely exhausted – still no baby. "Come on love, just a bit more." Bert encouraged as he brought a cool, damp rag to her forehead. Mary shook her head stubbornly.

"I can't!" She cried. "I can't! He'll die!" She let out a groan as her uterus began to contract once more, preparing her to push again.

"OK Mrs Alfred, the next contraction will be a big one and I need you to push as hard as you can."

"Please…" Mary said weakly. "Just make it stop." Bert wiped away her tears as she pushed again, it was the only thing he could do.

Mary gave one final scream as she brought their child into the world and collapsed against Bert's chest. "It's a boy." The doctor announced and quickly took the little bundle away to be checked over. The baby was far too quiet. "You did it, Mary." Bert whispered, he kissed her cheek. Mary looked up at him, her eyes shone with tears.

"Why isn't he crying Bert?" She choked. They both looked over at the doctor and midwife who were frantically hovering over the baby boy, they couldn't see what they were doing, only that their hands were working quickly.

"Come on little man." Bert whispered against Mary's hair. Mary took Bert's hand in hers and let her tears fall on his shirt. Time slowed down as the doctor tried to revive the little boy until, finally, the high pitched cry of the baby echoed through the room.

"Ohh..." Mary sobbed as she released the breath she'd been holding in. Bert kissed her forehead and held her tightly, finally allowing his tears to fall. His son was alive and that's all that mattered. The doctor brought the screaming baby over to them. "Is he ok?" Bert asked as the doctor placed the child his mother's eager arms. Mary immediately set to work on comforting her baby.

"We'll have to get them both to hospital for check-ups but judging by the set of lungs he's got on him, I think he'll be just fine."

"It's ok darling, Mummy's here... Mummy's here." Mary soothed as she cradled him.

"Does he have a name yet?"

"Thomas... His name is Thomas." Bert looked at his wife and smiled at her.

"We'll give you three a moment while we call for an ambulance." The nurse and doctor left the room so the little family were alone.

"I thought you weren't keen on the name Thomas." Bert questioned as he stroked the little baby's velvet skin.

"I wasn't but when I thought we were going to lose him I knew he needed a name or it would've been like he never existed if he…" Mary's voice trailed off, now that she had him in her arms, she never wanted to imagine a world without him. "Thomas was the only name I could think of… It's the only name that I wanted for him."

"Now you don't have to worry about that… He's here now and I'm never going to let anything happen to him."

"Oh Bert, I was so frightened!" Mary broke off into sobs again. Bert kissed her gently, his thumbs wiping away the tears on her cheeks.

"I know love, me too… But he's here now, that's all that matters." He brought his wife and son into his arms and in the moment, if only for the moment, everything was perfect. In the years to come and whenever things were rocky, Bert learned to keep those perfect moments in his heart forever.


	10. Chapter 10

_Well here is chapter 10, sorry it's such a long one; again we've got flash forwards to the present. I've even included a title for this chapter which is something I haven't done for years! Anyway I hope you enjoy as always :) xx_

* * *

 **Moments**

 _Present Day_

With her two small bags all ready to go by the door, Mary glanced around her home one last time. She opened the curtains for the last time, allowing the first rays of morning sunshine to bring the house to life. It spread through the living room until all her furniture had woken to greet her for the very last time. She knew that she would never return to the house where she had raised her children and where her grandchildren had come to play. She would never step out on to her doorstep to fetch the morning paper or make breakfast for her family in the kitchen. She would never feel her husband come up behind her, wrap his arms around her and steal a piece of bacon (even though she told him several times he needed to lower his cholesterol) as she was cooking. Of course, it had been years since Bert's death but sometimes she could still feel his embrace. She ran a trembling hand over the old battered pine of kitchen table that Bert had made himself when they were short on money. It was covered in dents from knives and forks and there were several stains on it from where the children had spilled food and drinks. Her fingers traced a few scratches and was taken back to one of their early wedding anniversaries when things had gotten a little heated between them and they'd made love right there on the table. Afterwards they had marvelled at its sturdiness.

They'd decided early on in their marriage that instead of having a dining room, their third room downstairs would be a study - seeing as how the kitchen was big enough for them all to eat comfortably. Having the study came in handy when Bert started writing as he set up a desk with a type writer, they had a bookcase and arm chair where they would read to the children in the evening before taking them up to bed and in the corner was the small piano they bought when the twins started lessons. On the other side of the study, there was a large archway that led back to the sitting room where Mary had spent countless nights in Bert's arms. The house wasn't very big but it was comfortable, had a large, beautiful garden where the children played in the summer and, most importantly, it was home. It was a home that held many blissful moments and some awful moments; it showed the moments that built her amazing life.

Mary returned to her bedroom and walked over to her closet. She retrieved a familiar item that she hadn't used for almost 60 years. Her carpet bag. Could she still successfully look through it after all these years? She remembered how the children would gawp at her when she pulled out her hat stand after they could've sworn it to be emptied. She would tell them to close their mouths for they were not codfish. She decided to delve into the carpet bag one last time to see what she could find.

Mary chuckled with delight as she grasped the gold coated bar of the hat stand and began pulling it from the bag. She beamed brightly. It was nice to see that she hadn't completely lost her touch. She planted the hat stand firmly on the ground and continued to rummage until, to her surprise, a photo frame tumbled out on to her lap.

She glanced at the upside down photo frame on her lap. She had a theory which photo this was but she was too afraid to look. It had been almost 60 years and she had long forgotten that she had packed that photo on her last ever job. Slowly, her fingertips grazed the edges of the frame as she tried to force herself to turn the photo over. She let out a gasp as her suspicions proved true.

There she was just in her early thirties with her third baby, Tom, and her husband, Bert – as handsome as he had always been. The picture was taken the day after Tom's birth, oh how tightly she and Bert held after they came so close to losing him through fear that he'd slip through their fingers once more. She gave a kiss to the picture. "I'll be with you soon." She whispered through her tears.

Mary wiped the tears off her cheeks, she looked up and saw her eldest daughter standing in the doorway. "Are you ok Mum?" Rose asked

"Can't I stay here in my house?" Mary asked, her voice thick with tears. Rose took her mother's creased hands in her own and stroked her palms with her thumbs. She swallowed hard in an attempt to stop her own tears from. "Mum, you know if it was possible we'd keep you here… But we're now at the stage where you need to have constant medical attention and it's just not possible here." Rose whispered. Mary looked down at their entwined hands on her lap. "I promise you won't alone for even a second. Me, Liz and the kids have worked it out where at least one of us will be with you at all times." Mary wiped her tears and looked around the bedroom one final time, she let out a deep sigh before putting the picture frame on the bedside table.

"Okay, I'm ready." She smiled weakly.

"Why don't you take that one with you Mum? It's a good picture." Rose looked down at the picture. Mary picked it back up with shaking hands, she smiled down at the memory and nodded lightly.

"Yes, I think I will." Mary agreed. She tried to stand but her muscles had seized up, she gripped the night stand as she tried to lift herself off the bed.

"Mum let me help you." Rose said as she held out her arms to her mother. Mary put up her hand to stop her. She stubbornly continued to try and lift herself.

"Mum, please." Mary gave a heavy sigh before taking her daughter's hand and she was quickly pulled on to her feet.

* * *

 _Summer 1923_

Mary awoke to the sight of dawn peeking through the crack in the bedroom curtains, she blinked sleepily as it beckoned her to greet the day. She felt Bert's arm wrapped around her waist just as it always was and stroked it gently. Slowly, she lifted his arm so she could slip from the bed without waking him. She made her way down the stairs and pushed open all the curtains she found on her way. Once the house was filled with light she carried on with her usual morning routine of opening the front door to retrieve the morning paper. Once upon a time she wouldn't have dreamed of stepping out the front door without being dressed for the day, but being a mother to three children under the age of seven meant that her vanity had to take the backseat. Mary took the morning paper back upstairs along with a lovely cup of tea – the only time she really had to herself. As much as she worshipped her family, she really did savour this time of peace and quiet before all the noise and chaos began.

Bert's gentle lips on her wrist was all it took to pull Mary's attention away from the paper. "Mornin' love." Bert murmured against her skin.

"Good morning, my darling." Mary whispered as she bent down to kiss her husband who was still refusing to open his eyes.

"What ye reading?"

"The newspaper." Bert lowered his brow in response to her sarcasm, Mary simply let out a musical laugh. "I'm just looking at a few job adverts."

"You want to go back to work?"

"Not full time but with all the children being in school soon it might be nice to look at being nanny again – if I can fit it in around the children."

"And you're looking in the paper? What happened to the woman who used to follow the winds fancy wherever it took her?" Bert smirked at her as he began kissing up her arm.

"And leave you lot unattended to? I can only imagine what trouble you'd get into without me being the responsible one… Why? Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Never love… Besides I'd never get me next book done without you there to keep me on the right path." He planted a firm kiss on her lips. "Are those my glasses?"

Mary lowered the stated spectacles and peered at her husband just over the top of them. "They are indeed and they are great for reading." Mary said as she pushed the frames back up to the bridge of her nose.

"Young lady, you need to get your own glasses." Bert scolded gently.

"Why would I do that when I have yours?"

"On second thought, they do look very good on you." He pulled the paper away from her before his lips were on her body once more.

"Bert… The children will be up any minute." She tried to remain level headed but each kiss to her skin sent electricity coursing through her body. He looked at her, his eyes full unbridled fervour.

"Well then, we better work quickly." He grabbed her roughly by the thighs and pulled her down until her head hit the pillow and all at once he was on top of her, still gripping her thighs so they wrapped around him.

"Bert, come on… We have so many things to be getting on with today and this is not one of them. Besides, I've not even bathed or shaved and I'm pretty sure I have carrots and peas from last night's dinner stuck in my hair."

"Well it's a good thing I like carrots and peas." Bert grinned as he moved in to kiss her. "You, my love, are the most beautiful woman I've ever known… Even first thing in the morning." He said in between kisses.

"And you're lying… But it worked, so please continue." Bert laughed into the kiss. He deepened the kiss, drawing a husky moan from Mary when his tongue explored her mouth and he started to push up her nightdress.

"MUUUUUM!" A child shouted from outside the bedroom

Bert and Mary groaned with frustration as the children continued to shout for them and bang on the bedroom door. "Go away!" Bert yelled as he tried to revert his attention back to kissing his wife. "Come back later, we're busy!"

"Bert, they're not going to leave." Mary laughed as she realised that Bert would not be having his way with her.

"Mum! Dad!" One of the children shouted. Bert groaned as he rolled off Mary and pouted.

"Well, it's official… Children are the most effective form of contraception!" Mary sighed. Bert wasn't paying attention, he was too busy muttering under his breath.

"10 minutes… You couldn't give us 10 minutes!" Mary shifted closer to him.

"We'll have to leave this to be continued… Will you get them ready while I make some breakfast?" Bert nodded as he gently kissed her before exiting the bed. Mary gave cheeky grin as he was completely nude. She watched him cross the room, take some pyjamas from the dresser and put them on before he noticed her staring.

"Are you ogling me?"

"Yes I am, do you have a problem with that?" Bert grinned as he went to join his wife back on the bed. He hovered over her and kissed her once more.

"Three kids later an' we still lust after each other." He leant down to kiss her again.

"Mum! Dad!" There was a general crash outside the bedroom.

"Alright! Keep your 'air on!"

* * *

Mary was cooking over the stove while her children sat at the table eating their jam on toast. Well eating some of it at least. "Thomas Alfred, if you lick all the jam off that toast you won't be getting anymore." Mary scolded. Tom looked up at her, his face was covered in the sticky red goo.

"I don't like jam-less toast, Mummy!" Tom exclaimed.

"I know you don't so you better eat it properly, hadn't you? Rose would you like some more juice?"

"Yes please." Rose answered as she held out her cup to her mother. Mary marvelled at how quickly her children were growing and how it only seemed like yesterday that they were babies. But they weren't babies anymore, her youngest Tom was four years old and would be starting school in the Autumn while the twins were coming up for six. They were growing up far too quickly and Mary wasn't sure how much she liked it.

As she chopped up some sausages for her children (she was constantly worried about them choking so took all necessary precautions to prevent it from happening), Mary felt her husband wrap his arms around her waist and bury his head into the crook of her neck. "Mmmm, you smell like strawberry jam!" He murmured.

"You can thank your son for that." Mary said as she gave Matthew a stern look.

"I didn't mean to drop the jar!" Matthew exclaimed.

"Yes well if you had put it down, like I asked you to three times, you wouldn't have dropped it, would you?" Bert went to pinch a sausage and Mary slapped his hand away.

"Awww come on, love!"

"No, the doctor said you need to cut down."

"Well what am I supposed to eat?"

"Get a bowl of porridge." Bert gave her his best pout. "Don't even bother with that face, I have three children… You know that face won't work on me." Bert smirked and leant in to kiss her. The children pulled a face to show their disgust at their smooching parents. Mary turned her head to the side with a smile while Bert placed eager kisses to her neck.

"We don't have time for this… You need to get the boys' wedding suits from the tailor's." Mary sighed.

"We don't need to be at the tailor's until 10am." Bert murmured against her neck. He wrapped his arms back around her waist until she shimmied out of his embrace.

"Yes and you need to take Rose to Uncle Albert and Edith's house so she can get into her flower girl dress."

"Mummy, I thought you were coming to Aunty Edith's too." Rose said.

"I will be in little while darling, I need to get ready too."

"I don't see why we've got to go to a stupid wedding anyway!" Matthew sulked.

"Hang on champ, I thought you liked Uncle Albert and Aunty Edith?" Bert questioned as he put some fruit in his porridge.

"I do but weddings are boring, there's never anything for us to do."

"Not if Uncle Albert has anything to do with it."

"Do you think we'll end up on the ceiling again?" Tom gasped, dropping the piece of toast back on the plate in the excitement.

"No I do not… Bert don't encourage them." Mary scolded as she wiped Tom's sticky face with a damp rag. Bert simply gave her a cheeky wink as he ate his breakfast.

* * *

Albert and Edith were married in the same church that Mary and Bert were married but seeing as they didn't have the same time constraint that Mary and Bert had, it was a much more elaborate affair. The ceremony itself was rather simple but the reception was extraordinary. Uncle Albert had hired out a massive tent in the park, not too far from the gazebo, filled it with white tables and chairs with yellow and blue ribbons. The tent was covered with fairy lights, bunting and balloons to match the occasion. They had served a lovely buffet which included finger sandwiches, scones, chicken drumsticks, breadsticks, a large selection of cold meats, fruits and cheeses all finished off with several bottles of champagne and orange juice for the children. Mrs Corry had made a fabulous four tier cake with different layers including: jam, red velvet, chocolate and buttercream. Mary and Bert decided to make their way through trying every layer.

"Here try the red velvet." Bert laughed as he held up the fork to Mary's mouth.

"Bert, I'll be sick! Why did you have to get such big pieces of cake?" Mary giggled, the champagne was making her a little giddy.

"It's free cake darlin', we gotta make the most of it."

"Enough is as good as a feast Mr Alfred, we do not need to stuff ourselves to the point of engorgement."

"You've got a bit of icing on your mouth… Here, let me get it." Bert placed his hand underneath her ear and brought his mouth to the corner of hers. She felt his tongue touch the corner of her mouth to remove the piece of icing.

"Mr Alfred." She breathed. "That was not a very gentlemanly move."

"Well we got interrupted this morning so I needed something to hold me over for the next four hours… You look so beautiful in that dress, but I bet it'll look better on the bedroom floor." Bert whispered as his lips trailed to her ear.

"Bert!" Mary hissed as she noticed his other hand caressing her thigh. "Someone will see."

"All anyone can see is that I'm kissing my beautiful wife… And who could blame me." Bert moved in to kiss her lips but before he could reach her, a loud crash came from the other side of the room.

It all happened in almost a slow motion and Mary wasn't sure how it had happened, all she knew was her little terrors that she called children were involved. Somebody had thrown a chicken drumstick at a certain sibling but had missed and had accidently hit the poor unsuspecting waiter who stumbled and poured a chilled drink over a guest, who then proceeded to leap up and bump into another guest and the whole thing began to fall like a house of cards. Mary watched in horror as the whole scene unravelled, a stack of glasses fell, someone got tangled in the ribbon of the balloons and stumbled into the cake. It wobbled menacingly for a moment and Uncle Albert leapt forward to try and stop the magnificent cake from falling but failed miserably and in the process was covered from head to toe in icing.

It only took Mary a moment to respond to the situation, she pulled away from her husband leaping up out of her chair and marching over to her children. Her face was pale and stony with rage as she reached her shamefaced children. "What happened?" She demanded, Bert tailed close behind. The children instantly tried to start blaming each other for the mess. Mary's face reddened but she wasn't sure if it was fury or embarrassment. She was used to the children being mischievous but she had hoped that for once they would behave in public. She was utterly humiliated – until Uncle Albert began laughing aloud.

The rest of the room remained in a puzzled silence as Uncle Albert was overcome by a uncontrollable fit of laughter but as Bert had once reminded his wife: laughter was incredibly contagious and before they knew, the whole room had joined in. Mary looked on in complete surprise however, her surprise soon turned to impatience as Uncle Albert and Edith began floating upwards. "Oh, not again!" She groaned. The children suddenly forgot their fear of their mother and began giggling too.

"Don't you three start! You're not off the hook for causing this mess." She scolded.

"That's right." Bert added sternly. "There will be serious consequences for you lot when we get home." As hard as he tried to be serious he couldn't keep the smirk off his face or the chortle out of his voice. Mary turned to give him a dirty look.

"You know, you're as bad as they are!"

* * *

Later in the evening when all the spilled drinks and food had been cleaned up and the shattered glass removed, Uncle Albert and Edith had their first dance as man and wife. Tom had fallen asleep against his father's chest while the twins were in a corner playing with their friends. Mary's hand rested on Bert's knee as she glanced around the room, listening to the soft music from the band she couldn't help but feel sleepy with happiness. She watched Uncle Albert and Edith dance slowly amongst the other couples, she then turned to Bert who was stroking Tom's back gently as he slept. She gently lifted her hand off his knee and raised it to his face as she gave his cheek a delicate kiss. "You ok, love?" Bert asked and Mary kissed him softly.

"Hmmm… I'm just happy Bert. How did we get so lucky?" She murmured.

"I've been lucky since the day you said you'd marry me." Mary smiled against his lips, she pulled away just a little so she could look in to his eyes.

"Will you dance with me?" She asked.

"I'd love to but you know if we move Tom he'll wake up." Mary looked around pensively for a moment.

"Hand me your jacket please?" Bert did as she asked. Carefully Mary wrapped Bert's jacket around the sleeping boy and lifted him out of his arms.

"Mrs Corry, would you mind holding Tom for a few minutes whilst Bert and I have a dance?" Mrs Corry eagerly held out her arms to Mary, ready to receive the little boy. Mary gently placed Tom against Mrs Corry's chest, he shifted a little but remained asleep.

"Very clever Mrs Alfred." Bert grinned.

"Well, when running around after three children, you learn a few tricks… Now, would you care to dance with your wife?" Mary asked as she held out her hand to him. Bert slipped his fingers into hers as he stood up, ready to join his wife on the dance floor.

Bert took Mary by the waist and pulled her close so they melded into one. Mary rested her head on his shoulder as he spun her around the dance floor. It was one of those wonderful moments that only happened a few times in life but with Bert, Mary felt she had more than she really deserved. She wished for a way to stop time so she could stay in the moment forever. "I been thinking." Bert said softly against Mary's hair. She looked up at him. "I know it's almost 2 years away, but I think we should renew our wedding vows for our tenth anniversary… We could have a proper do like this."

"What's brought this on?"

"Well we married so quickly, we never got to 'ave a proper celebration like this… And we were short on cash at the time… I want you to have the celebration you deserve." Mary's eyes glistened with unshed tears of joy. She leant up and kissed her husband gently on the lips.

"You are so wonderful and I'd love to renew our vows… But I don't need a big fancy party, just you and our children, that's all I need." Bert kissed her once more.

"We 'ave got some great kids, Mar."

"When they're not destroying wedding cakes that is." They both laughed before resuming the dance.

"I love you, my darlin' girl." Bert whispered. Mary tightened her grip on Bert's shoulder afraid that if she let go for even a second, the moment would slip through her fingers.

"I love you too, Bert." With her husband in her arms and her children happily playing or fast asleep, Mary felt like she had truly achieved perfection – if only for a moment.


	11. Chapter 11

_**WARNING CHARACTER DEATH** Granted it is not a main character but it is as equally horrendous! I've been conflicted over this chapter for days because while I do think it is important for the story and I've written as well as I could, there is still a massive part of me screaming: "OMG! You cannot upload this!" Anyway, if you are prone to tears like I am - I am sobbing my heart out right now! - I highly suggest you are alone while reading this chapter! _

_Kel xx_

* * *

 _Present day_

Sleep. That was all Mary seemed to do these days. She was asleep at least 18 hours of the day. It was almost as though her body was preparing her for an eternal slumber. Even when she was awake, Mary was in such horrific pain that she longed for death. Still, her body was fighting the best it could to keep her alive just a little longer – after all there were still things she needed to do.

Liz gently stroked her mother's hand, her fingers brushing against the gold wedding band on her finger - the same place it had been for over 60 years. Still Liz did not cry. She wanted to but she just couldn't, she hadn't cried since her father passed away. She began to worry that her daughter was right: she was cold and that she wouldn't cry when her own mother died. She knew that she and Mary had their problems like any normal mother and daughter, but she always assumed that when Mary passed away, it would break her heart. "Mum..." A small voice came from the door.

Lucy hovered in the doorway, not quite in the room. "Aunt Rose asked me to come down to sit with Nana." Lucy said awkwardly, she was still sleeping at Rose's house to avoid her mother.

"Where is she? I thought she was coming down this afternoon." Liz questioned.

"She said she had to see to the grave now that Nana can't."

"Right... I should go and see her." Liz kissed her mother's forehead before exiting the room.

In the small local cemetery, the frost had settled on the long, unkempt grass. It was too cold for people to visit their departed loved ones. The sky was washed with a sickly, grey smudge, not a single cloud in sight as if they too were hiding from the winter. The air was brutal to anyone who dare face it, stinging cheeks with its icy palm; making the eyes water and the teeth chatter just to prove how strong it could be. The trees that were once a healthy brown and green and full of healthy leaves, were now bare and lacking in colour. The leaves scattered on the ground, crisp with frost and crunched under the shoes of the rare visitor to the cemetery. During all other seasons, the cemetery was ironically full of life, there was a constant stream of visitors and the graves were full of fresh flowers and messages of love. In the winter, there was only death and a few extremely dedicated mourners.

Rose was on the ground digging up a few withered tulips so she could replace them with the new ones. She had delicately trimmed the grass around the headstone and reordered the pebbles so they looked neat and tidy. Her knees had sunk into the mud and her forehead held a small smudge of dirt. She turned up the collar on her winter coat in an attempt to warm her frozen limbs.

"It's a little cold to be gardening, isn't it?" Liz said as she approached her sister, another bunch of yellow tulips in her hand. "Why didn't you just put the flowers down?"

"The place looked an absolute state... Mum would've been horrified."

"Yes... She did always like to keep it looking nice." Liz put the flowers on the headstone, kissed two of her fingers and gently touched the marble.

"Are you ok?" She asked her sister.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"It would have been his birthday today, right?"

Rose's hands stopped working as her sister's words rang out in her ears. Her face was sunken and haunted, her head lolled underneath the burden of the past. The more the years went on, the clearer it became. Tears began to fall down her face and into the soil as she thought back to the day that would be etched into her brain until the day she died. That was the thing about tragedies, they were easier to remember than happy events because they cut deeper. It had been more than half a century, but she could still remember it as if it had just occurred.

* * *

 _Autumn 1924_

"Children... I won't ask you again to stay off Mrs Butterworth's workshop. Come down, please." Mary called up to her mischievous children as they ran around on top of the roof acting out some of the chapters from their daddy's book. The roof to the workshop wasn't very high and had a wall around the edges, so they weren't in any immediate danger but she always felt safer with them on the ground.

"Yes Mummy!" The children answered as they began to climb down off the workshop. Mary watched them carefully as they made their way down the steps onto solid ground.

"Mum, can we go down the street and ask Betsy and John if they want to play football?" Matthew asked as he helped his sister and little brother down the steps.

"Go on… But stay out of the road." The children skipped off down the street while Mary turned back to her rose bushes. She had a little bit of soil on her pink blouse and her temple was damp to show the hard work she was assuming. The more she thought about it, the more she realised that she and her husband had switched roles over the years. Not that Bert didn't like to get his hands dirty anymore, he just happened to spend more time working indoors.

"Well, well, well if it isn't Mary Poppins." Said a voice from behind her. Mary whipped around to find the owner of the voice.

"Jane… Michael." Mary smiled as she stood up to embrace the children she'd once cared for. Well they weren't exactly children anymore, Michael had to be coming up for 21 now and Jane looked like she was expecting her own child. "The last time we saw you this filthy, we'd just been up the chimney." Jane smirked.

"And last time I saw you, you didn't have this." Mary retorted as she placed her hand on Jane's large stomach. Jane turned slightly pink. "Congratulations! How far along are you?"

"6 months."

"Hmm won't be long now… You know you caused quite a scandal, your father was absolutely furious that you had eloped."

"Mary Poppins." Jane stuttered. Mary had to smirk at the fact that her maiden name hadn't quite slipped away. "I really wish I could've had you there at the wedding."

"Please… I couldn't have been prouder when I heard the news." Jane beamed at her former nanny before wrapping her up in a close embrace.

"And Michael… You really must stop growing, if you carry on like this you won't be able to fit through a doorway. How's university life treating you?" Mary asked as she leant up to kiss the boy who was almost a foot taller than her.

"It's not bad… Father's angling for me to get a job at the bank when I graduate… I haven't yet told him that I've got an internship at the publisher's."

"Well you'll have to tell him at some point… Come and sit on the porch, I'll get some juice."

Mary wasn't sure how long she sat talking with Banks' eldest children reminiscing on their time together, on the times they jumped into chalk pictures, danced on the rooftops of London and had tea parties on the ceiling. It was almost as though no time had passed at all and they all returned to their former selves, Jane and Michael were the same wondering, excitable children and Mary Poppins the magical, if not a little strict, nanny that had saved their family. "Yes well that was a long time ago and we won't be popping into any chalk pictures today, thank you!" Mary grinned.

"Don't you miss it though Mary Poppins? Have you never wanted to take the children on any of adventures of their own?" Michael asked.

"Well that would require all of my old powers which means I would have had to keep on being a nanny and being away from the children for months at a time… I couldn't bear that."

"Do you ever miss being a nanny?" Jane asked.

"Sometimes I think about going back to it part time… If I could find the right job that would allow me to be there for my own children too." Jane grinned mischievously as if she had just heard exactly what she needed to from Mary.

"Well why don't you? I'll be due in a few months and could most definitely use the help of a first class nanny." Mary almost choked on her orange juice.

"Jane! Really, be sensible!"

"I am! This is my first child and I need all the support I can get. Plus I need someone I can trust, I want someone who can help me be the best mother I can be. Oh please say yes, Mary Poppins!" Mary lowered her brow and let out a loud sigh.

"I will think about it… Besides, you have another three months yet."

Mary wasn't sure if it was the roar of a car engine that made her jump to her feet or the fact that her children were playing dangerously close to the road, all she knew was that she had this horrendous feeling in the pit of her stomach that disaster was about to strike. She'd heard the car before she saw it, the screeching of the worn down tyres on rough tarmac rang loudly in her ears and it happened before she could do anything to stop it. She watched on helplessly as her daughter lunged forward to kick the football but tripped over her laces and fell face first into the road. "Rose!" Mary yelled, her feet suddenly springing into the action to close the distance between her and her daughter. The vehicle tumbled and swerved almost turning on to its side to avoid the little girl. The violent bang of the metal was deafening as it came to a grinding halt. Mary dropped her glass on the floor letting it smash into tiny pieces as the orange juice slipped down the path and into her once perfect garden.

Mary quickly swept the shaking little girl up into her arms to check for any immediate injuries. "Are you ok, darling?" She asked, the panic filling her voice. Rose began to cry, wrapping her arms around her mother's neck. Jane and Michael rushed over; the other children froze in fear.

"Is she alright?" The driver asked. "I'm so sorry, I tried to stop when I saw her fall." Mary ignored him as she continued to check Rose for any injuries.

"I don't believe it, she doesn't have a scratch on her." Mary sighed in disbelief before she gripped her daughter's arms and held her at arm's length. "What have I told you about running with your shoes untied?!"

"I'm sorry Mummy!" The little girl sobbed. Mary exhaled deeply as she brought Rose into her arms and hugged her tightly, burying her face into her brunette curls.

"It's ok… You were lucky this time." Mary placed her daughter back on the ground. "All of you run along inside while I speak to the driver… Michael, will you go to the publisher's and get Bert please?" Michael nodded as he rushed off down the road. Mary watched as the children made their way back into the house. There was one missing.

"Where's Tom?" Mary asked, her voice filling with terror again. She spun around quickly, scoping out the street to find her son. By this point the neighbours were coming out of their houses to see what had happened. "Tom?" She called.

"Mary…" Jane said weakly. Mary turned to face the young woman, she was as white as a sheet and she raised a shaking finger to the wreckage of the car. Mary looked around slowly and let out a scream when she saw what Jane was pointing at.

"Tom!" Mary yelled as she made her way over to the wreckage. She climbed over the bonnet of the car to reach her son. Her blood ran cold as she tried to force her body to act as it should; her heart was thumping so quickly she was sure it would burst from her chest. The little boy was unconscious, his face was dirty and bloodied. His chest was moving; he was still alive. Mary's hope returned. She gently lifted her son's broken body into her arms. "Tom… Darling, open your eyes… Please…" Mary sobbed. Tom's eyes fluttered open as if the sound of his mother's voice had been enough to wake him from slumber. "Mummy?" He said weakly.

"It's ok darling, Mummy's here… Mummy's here… Sweetheart, where does it hurt?"

"My head…" Mary shifted him gently and felt her heart skip a beat when she saw the red liquid escaping through the cracks in the road.

"Oh god!" Mary gasped. She felt sick and dizzy, her mind was in a whirl of panic. "Jane, I need you to phone for an ambulance." Jane didn't move, she was frozen in horror. She subconsciously touched her stomach. "Jane!" Mary shouted. Jane snapped to attention, she ran back into the house to call for help. Tom's eyes fluttered closed. "No, no… Tom, open your eyes." She gently tapped his face. "Look at me, darling. Look at Mummy."

"But Mummy, I'm tired." Tom groaned as he tried to nuzzle against his mother.

"I know darling but we need to get a doctor to look at you." Mary couldn't keep the tremor out of her voice, it had been a long time since she'd had full control over her powers and even if she did, it wouldn't help her son. She was helpless.

"Mummy, I'm cold." Tom whimpered. Mary touched his skin, he was getting colder.

"Ok darling, we'll get you inside." Mary said as she tried to hold back her tears. She lifted him in her arms and slowly arose to her feet, as she did she saw Bert racing towards her.

"What happened?" He yelled. "Michael said a car nearly hit Rose." His face dropped when he saw his wife pulling their little boy from the car wreck. He watched her struggle with Tom for a moment, unable to move. He was like a little rag doll, his head lolled about on Mary's arm and his eyelids drooped. On the back of his head was a large cut where the blood flowed freely on to Mary's sleeve. Suddenly, Bert's fatherly instincts took over. He ran over to her and took the little boy so she could climb back over the wreckage. "What happened?" Bert reiterated as Mary quickly climbed over the car and grabbed the boy again.

"I don't know! Rose fell as the car was coming round the corner and the driver swerved to miss her… He mustn't have seen Tom." Mary sobbed as she started making her way over to the house. The clouds rolled in and thunder echoed in the distance. Mary stumbled a little and Bert tried to take Tom from her. "I've got him, Bert!" Mary shouted.

"You two, go upstairs please." She told the twins as she entered the house with Tom, Bert hovered close behind. The twins obeyed. Mary placed her son on the sofa and wrapped a blanket around him to keep him warm.

"Mary, there's an ambulance on the way." Jane informed her.

"Good… Will you get me some towels? I need to see if I can stop the bleeding." Mary said.

"Mummy, I'm scared!" Tom cried. His eyes were wide in terror, he searched his mother's face for something that would say he was going to be fine.

"I know baby, you're going to be okay though." The quiver in her voice showed she was lying; nobody in the room believed her, not even herself.

"Where's Daddy?"

"I'm here bud." Bert said as he kissed his son's forehead.

"I'm sorry…" Tom's voice broke off into a sob and it tore Mary's heart in half. "I'm sorry we didn't listen to you when you told us to be careful near the road."

"Oh darling, you have nothing to be sorry about… This is nobody's fault."

"Will you and Daddy sing to me?"

"Sing what, darling?"

"The one about the chimney sweep." Mary and Bert looked at each other, Mary nodded and she gave a kiss to her son's hand. A few tears slipped down her cheeks as she began to sing the first few notes.

"Chim, chimney

Chim, chimney

Chim, chim, cher-ee

When you're with a sweep

You're in glad company

Nowhere is there

A more happier crew

Than them wot sings

"Chim chim cher-ee

Chim cher-oo"

Chim, chimney

Chim, chim, cher-ee

Chim, cher-oo"

As she and Bert finished the last couple of bars of their song, Mary looked down at her son and ran one hand through his hair. He had a sleepy smile on his face like he had just been listening to a lullaby to help him sleep after a bad dream. How could he know that the next time he fell asleep, he wouldn't wake up? His heavy eyelids closed and his tiny, fragile hand slipped from his mother's as he took his last breath.

Some may say that death is cruel and remorseless, that it snatches those who are far too young and innocent from this world and doesn't give them a chance at life. When Mary reflected later in life on her son's death, she would tell people that it was one of the hardest things she ever had to go through, but it was a beautiful moment. There was no more pain for him, just peace, and while she would have given anything to have had more time with him, she was truly blessed as a mother. She was there when that beautiful boy came into the world and she held him as he left; she loved him more than anyone ever could. Death is easy when it is stripped back, it is the suffering of others that makes it difficult.

Mary cradled her son's body, she rocked him back and forth as she cried into his hair. "My baby boy." She wept. Bert was sat on the armchair, the twins sat on his knee and all three of them were sobbing. The room was full with Jane, Michael, Uncle Albert, Edith and medical professionals but all was silent other than the sobs of the family. Mary could hardly breathe, she felt as though her heart was being crushed and ripped apart all at the same time. It couldn't be real, it was like something out of a nightmare. Like one of those dreams when you're trying to run away but you don't seem to be moving or when you scream and no sound comes out. It was a disorienting kind of horror.

"Is Tom in heaven, Daddy?" Mary heard one of her twins ask though their tears. Bert nodded as he held his children tighter. Mary wanted to believe her husband, that her son was safe in the arms of God. But how could God be so cruel? To give her four, wonderful years with the little boy who was never supposed to survive and then rip him away. Why would he take her baby after they'd fought so hard to keep him alive? She continued to let her tears fall into Tom's hair.

"Mrs Alfred… We need to take Tom now." The undertaker announced. Mary shook her head defiantly.

"No… I want to keep him here." She sobbed.

"Mrs Alfred…"

"You are not taking my son!" Bert arose to his feet, he took the twins over to Uncle Albert and Edith before staggering over to his wife and son. He knelt in front of them and stroked the little boy's face. "Mary… He needs to go the Chapel of Rest… We need to say goodbye." Bert whispered.

"I can't!"

"We have to." Mary reluctantly loosened her grip on her little boy. Bert took Tom in his arms and carried him over to the stretcher. Gently, he lay the boy down and gave a gentle kiss to his forehead, a sob catching in his throat and the tears falling once more. Mary watched him completely rigid with the shock. She held Tom's little, icy hand as the undertaker put the blanket over him and prepared to take him away. Mary snivelled as she tightened her grip on his hand, Bert placed his hands on her shoulders and with that she crumbled. She let go of the little boy and looked on as he was wheeled away.

"I'm so sorry my dear, no one should have to go through the loss of a child." Uncle Albert sobbed as Rose cuddled into him.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Jane asked.

"No… You two should run along home, me and Edith will stay." Mary could not hear the conversation going on around her, she felt like she was drowning in a murky lake. There was nothing but darkness and pain, she could hear the muffled, worried voices but she was just sinking further and further into nothingness.

"Mary..." Uncle Albert murmured softly. "Jane and Michael are going home." Mary didn't answer him, all she could think about was her son and how she'd never hold him in her arms again, how she would never see his cheeky grin and that all she wanted was to be with him right now.

"Tom..." She whispered. "I want my baby!"

"He's gone Mrs Alfred." The doctor said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "The undertaker has taken him to the Chapel of Rest."

"No! They need to bring him back!" Mary cried. She stumbled to her feet in an attempt to go after the undertaker but was stopped by her husband. She fought against Bert as he tried to restrain her.

"Let go of me!" She shrieked as she kicked and punched at Bert. "TOM!" Bert tightened his grip on her and desperately controlled his own urge to run out after his son. The doctor rushed over to help Bert restrain the hysterical mother.

"MUMMY!" The twins yelled in fear as Uncle Albert and Edith tried to take them out of the room to shield them from Mary's breakdown.

"Mr Alfred I'm going to have to sedate her if she doesn't calm down."

"Mary, please!" Bert pleaded. Mary sank her teeth into Bert's wrist and he quickly let go. Before anyone could stop her, she had raced out of the door and after the undertaker's vehicle.

"Wait!" She yelled in hot pursuit of the vehicle. Her hair had come loose from her bun and her makeup was running down her face, she was a frightful mess but she was beyond caring. The neighbours, who had come out earlier during the accident to help, looked on as Mary raced down the garden path and into the street. Bert was close behind, he grabbed her around the waist. "Tom!" Mary screamed. "Let go of me!" She continued to fight against Bert. The rain was pouring down on them, seeping through their clothes and on to their skin. "No! Tom!" In the distance, thunder roared loudly over Mary's cries. Bert pinned his wife to ground and held her wrists over head to stop her from clawing at his face. "TOM!" Mary screeched as she struggled underneath Bert and the rain continued to pelt them. The doctor rushed out to them with a needle in hand. "Mr Alfred I'll need you to roll up her sleeve."

"TOM!"

"What are yer givin' her?"

"LET GO OF ME!"

"A mild tranquilizer... It'll put her right to sleep."

"TOM!" Mary's screams were unrelenting and she never gave up fighting her husband until the needle plunged into her arm.

Mary fell limp against Bert, she had stopped the ear-splitting yells but her trembling sobs persisted as a wave of drowsiness washed over her. Bert climbed off her, gathered his wife into his arms and held her close to his face, their tears and grief blending. "I'm gonna take care of you... I'm gonna make this better." Bert promised as his tears fell into Mary's hair.

"You can't make this better, Bert!" Mary sobbed. The world began to get fuzzy around the edges and Mary realised she was drifting into unconsciousness. "Nothing can." She said weakly. And as she drifted into darkness, the last thing she saw was the rain washing away her son's blood.

* * *

 _Present day_

"You know what happened wasn't your fault." Liz soothed her sister.

"I know..." Rose sobbed. "Can you promise me something, Liz?"

"Of course."

"When Mum's gone, will you come down to the grave with me every month, like she did? I know Mum and Dad will be here, but we need to visit him too... He can't be forgotten."

"I promise... I won't ever let him be forgotten." Liz gathered her older sister into her arms and let her sob against her chest. The wind picked up and swept a few frost bitten leaves around the grave and tangled in Liz and Rose's hair. Liz glanced over at the headstone as she wiped away a stray tear that had trickled down her cheek and read the message below her father's: _Thomas Alfred, beloved son. Sleeping peacefully since 7th September 1924._

* * *

 ** _Yep, this was absolutely horrendous! Please remember that as hard as it is to read, it is even harder to write and please review - even if it is just to tell me how much you hate me! Xx_**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry folks its another sad one at the moment (hey they've just lost a kid, they're gonna pretty screwed up for a while!) but as I've previously promised, it is a roller coaster story - it will get happy again, just maybe not for a few chapters! Sorry it's taken a while to get this up here, I've been involved with doing a musical so that's taken up so much of my time - Julie Andrews would be proud! As always, please review! Love Kelly x**

* * *

Chapter 12

It was yet another dark and gloomy day. Of course, no day had been particularly bright since Tom had died. Mary lay in her and Bert's bed alone, wide awake but not ready to greet the day. She hadn't slept properly since that fateful day, anytime she closed her eyes she relived the moment her boy was killed. The screeching of brakes, the stench of burning rubber and her son's bloodied face would be indelibly imprinted in her memory. The sheets felt tight around her body, imprisoning her; suffocating her. The fabric should've only been light but it felt as heavy as metal and her skin was hot and clammy after another nightmare. A grey light peeked in through the gap in the curtains, reminding her that she had no choice but to get up. She threw back the covers and reluctantly dragged her tired body out of bed.

She looked up at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and barely recognised the woman staring back at her. Gone was the sparkle in her eyes that had once shone with happiness and a little bit of mischief, and in its place were dark, lifeless voids. She used to love looking in the mirror, even as she'd started aging she was still beautiful, a beauty she believed came from how happy she'd been over the years. But now she saw nothing of her former self, just a shell of what she'd been and the face of a grieving mother.

Mary hadn't left the house in more than a week but today was her son's funeral and while all she wanted to do was hide away from the world for the rest of her life like Miss Havisham in Great Expectations, she knew she had make the effort for Tom. She took out the medication prescribed to her by the doctor after Tom died to stop "moments of hysteria" as he put it. She fancied telling him she liked to see how he'd cope if one of his children died in his arms. She poured the small pills into her palm, one then two, five then ten and before she knew it the whole bottle had been emptied into her hand. She thought about what would happen if she was to swallow them all. Would she get to be with her boy as she floated among the stars or would she just drift into nothingness? Of course either option was preferable to how she was feeling right now. Small doses of the medicine could only numb her, it wouldn't take the pain away nor would it bring back her son. Even when she tried it with a spoonful of sugar it left a bitter after taste. There was not enough sugar and medicine in the world to help her survive this, but it could end her suffering. As tempting as death was, she couldn't do it to the rest of her family. No, she couldn't be as selfish as to put the burden of her suffering on to them. She dropped the pills into the sink and let the pills dissolve in the cold water and disappear down the drain. She would live with her pain.

Once Mary had changed into her funeral dress, she went through to wake up the rest of the household. She walked into the bedroom next door to hers and Bert's and inhaled the familiar scent of her son. The tears sprung to her eyes as she took in her surroundings. The pictures on the walls that he and the twins had drawn, the chest of toys and the tiny clothing that hung in the closet. She took one of his shirts out of the closet and brought it to her face. It felt like him. As she placed the shirt back on the hanger, she glanced over at her husband who was sleeping in Tom's bed – where he had slept since the day Tom died – clutching a teddy he once owned.

Mary sat in the chair next to Tom's bed and watched her husband sleep. His face no longer held the youthful; carefree glow he'd always had, even though he was approaching his mid-forties. For the first time ever, he looked older than he really was. His face was lined by grief and contorted as if he too was plagued with the same nightmares that Mary had. Her eyes traced the scratches on his face, the scratches she had put there in her anguish. She moved towards him slightly when he started coughing and murmuring in his sleep. She stood up and moved towards the window as Bert awoke.

"I've pressed your black suit, it's on our bed." She said quietly, it was the most she'd said to him in days. She glanced out of the window at the spot where Tom had been hit by the car, where his blood had spilled into the gutter. She tried to banish the memory of Tom's unconscious body in that spot. She felt Bert's hands on her shoulders; a few tears fell.

"We'll get through this together." He whispered against her hair. He wanted nothing more than to hold his wife in his arms, for his own comfort as much as hers, but it was like she hated his touch. Whenever he tried, she would pull away.

"I thought we could dress him in his blue suit, the one he wore to Uncle Albert and Edith's wedding… We need to be at the funeral home by 9.30am, so you need to get ready. I'll wake up the twins." With that, Mary slipped from the bedroom, leaving her husband alone.

After leaving the twins with Uncle Albert and Edith, Mary and Bert made their way to the funeral home with a small suitcase of Tom's things. Mary rang the bell before she felt Bert's hand slip into hers. The undertaker came to the door and greeted them warmly but sympathetically. "Mr and Mrs Alfred, please come in." He said shaking both of their hands before leading them through the large house. "Everything is taken care of for this morning, the flowers will be arriving in the next hour and the cars will be here at 11am." He announced. The further they went into the house, the more comfortable Mary felt. The house was not what she had been expecting, it was like any other family house, warm and inviting with pictures of relatives on the walls. Suddenly a football came hurtling towards them before it landed at Mary's feet.

Mary knelt and picked the ball up off the ground when a little boy came running towards her. Her face fell. _Tom?_ He was the same height; had the same mop of curly brown hair; the same blue eyes; the little dimples in his cheeks whenever he smiled. But he wasn't her little boy, her little boy was lying in a coffin in the next room.

Mary handed him the football with a tearful smile. "Thank you." He said in sugary sweet voice. Mary's lip trembled as the tears clung to her eyelashes in an attempt not to fall. She raised a gentle, shaking hand to the boy's face.

"Mary!" Bert warned.

"I'm fine, Bert." Mary interrupted as she moved her hand away and let it fall into her lap. The undertaker quickly ushered the little boy away and he toddled off into the back garden.

"I'm sorry about that." The undertaker murmured. "Shall we go on?" Mary nodded as she quickly rose to her feet and wiped her eyes. He pushed open the door to reveal a blinding, white room. It was almost like a doctor's waiting room except there were no books to distract you, just flowers - lots of flowers and in the centre of the room lay a small white coffin on a mahogany table. "I'll give you some time alone with him." With that the gentleman left Mary and Bert alone with their son.

"Are you ready for this?" Bert asked.

"We're burying our son, Bert. I am never going to be ready for this." Mary replied. She reached into her bag and took out the boy's clothing and a few other items that they had decided to put in the coffin with him. She approached the coffin cautiously and leaned in to look at her son. "Hello darling." She sighed.

The boy's skin had a slight blue tinge to it but he was still relatively warm, Mary had expected him to be ice cold. She thought the undertaker had done a wonderful job of cleaning up her son and closing his wounds so now only a few bruises and cuts remained. In fact, if she didn't know any better, she'd say her boy was just sleeping. But no matter how much she hoped and wished for it, he would not open his eyes and smile at her.

Mary and Bert dressed Tom quickly, all the while Mary stayed calm and focused on the job at hand. Bert, however, was inconsolable, his tears flowed freely down his face and his hands fumbled with the clothing. Eventually Mary put her hands on top of his and took over from him. When she'd finished Bert approached the coffin once more and placed the teddy he'd been sleeping with over the past few nights beside his son. "Bert… Can I have a minute alone with him, please?" Mary asked quietly. Bert looked hurt, but he understood. He leaned in to the coffin to kiss his boy one last time before leaving him with his mother.

Mary gently lifted Tom out of the coffin and sat in the rocking chair. She cradled him close and rocked him slowly as if he were a baby she was trying to get to sleep. "My baby boy." She whispered. "Well, I never thought we'd be here. From the moment I met you, I just knew I had to cherish every moment with you. Every smile, every kiss and cuddle, every time you were mischievous, every time you crawled into mine and Daddy's bed because you'd had a bad dream. Part of me always knew I wouldn't get very many of those moments so I knew I had to make every single one matter." Mary paused to wipe the tears off her cheek and choke back a desperate sob. "I just never thought this would be the reason." She placed a wet kiss on his forehead. "I'm so sorry you got stuck with me! I'm sorry I couldn't save you when you needed me to, you deserved so much better! I only hope now that, wherever you are, you're safe and happy and that you know I love you so much… I love you more than anything… And I always will." She gave him one last, long cuddle before putting him back into the coffin. "I love you, Tom." She wept as she gave him a lingering kiss. "Sleep tight, my darling." She had to tear herself away from him as she walked towards the door, leaving a large chunk of her heart in the coffin. The pain ripped through her more than any pain she had ever experienced, worse than labour, worse than the time she broke her wrist. It cut through her like a rusty knife. As she went to open the door, she couldn't resist one last peek at her little boy.

They arrived at the church after following the hearse from the funeral home. They had just about managed to beat the rain but the black clouds were hovering nearby. It seemed like the whole of London had come out to say goodbye to the little boy. The Banks', Uncle Albert and Edith, Mrs Corry and her daughters, Ms Lark, Admiral Boom, Bert's fellow sweeps and so many other familiar faces that they'd known over the years. She looked over at her twins who were stood with the Banks', playing with Emma Mr and Mrs Banks' youngest, like Jane and Michael, she had grown considerably. She was just a couple of years older than the twins. Mary walked over to them and embraced her twins. "Oh my darlings." She sighed. Bert lifted Rose into his arms and held her tight.

"We were so sorry to hear about Tom... He was such a lovely little boy." Winnifred said as she went to hug both Mary and Bert.

"I know." Mary felt a little tugging on her dress, it was Emma.

"Mary Poppins..." She said nervously. She held up a little bouquet of yellow roses. "We bought these for Tom."

"Oh how lovely... Yellow was his favourite colour."

"Please could we put them on his casket?"

"I don't see why not." She looked over to where the undertaker was starting to take the casket out of the car. Bert was trembling, he shifted nervously before placing Rose in her mother's arms.

"I'm sorry... I can't do this." He sobbed. He began to walk away.

"Bert! What are you doing?" Mary asked, she put Rose on the ground as she went after her husband.

"Daddy?" The twins called. The Banks' took the them inside to give Bert and Mary some privacy.

"Bert, stop!" Mary called.

"I'm sorry... I can't do this, I can't watch 'im be buried." Bert cried.

"Do you think this is easy for me? I don't want to be here anymore than you do but we are his parents."

"I know that! But I can't sit by an' watch them lower 'im into the ground, I'll go in after 'im!"

"I swear Bert, if you make me bury our son alone, I will never forgive you!"

"I'm sorry!" With that he walked out of the church grounds.

"Bert!"

The little lad's funeral was a beautiful service. The church was filled with yellow and blue flowers, his two favourite colours, they played his favourite songs and then finally the priest read a lovely sermon. Unfortunately, Mary was unable to appreciate the effort that had gone into giving the boy a beautiful send off. She was still so angry with her husband for leaving her to face saying goodbye to their son alone. How dare he? Did he genuinely believe that he was the only one who was grieving? By the time it came to the burial, she was seething. She deserved better; Tom deserved better. She lifted her head to scatter the dirt onto Tom's coffin but froze when she recognised a face in the crowd. _The driver._

"Mary?" Uncle Albert asked. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she snapped out of her reverie. She scattered the dirt on to the coffin, never taking her eyes off the man who was trying to remain inconspicuous. "What is he doing here?" She snapped.

"Who?" Uncle Albert asked.

"Him… He was driving the car that killed Tom."

"I don't know my dear, I'm sure he just wants to pay his respect."

"He shouldn't be here." Mary stepped away from the service and walked towards the gentleman.

"Mary! Wait!"

As soon as the gentleman saw her approaching, he began to walk away. "Hey! Face me, don't be a coward! I've already seen you now. What are you doing here?" She asked as she squared up to him.

"I was going to wait until everyone left, I wanted to put some flowers down." Mary knocked the flowers out of his hand.

"I don't want your flowers, I want you to leave."

"Mrs Alfred, please…"

"You killed my son!"

"It was an accident." Mary slapped him hard across the face. Uncle Albert rushed over to restrain his niece.

"It was an accident?! My son is dead because of you! I will never hold my baby boy again because of you!" She broke off weeping.

"Mary please, the twins are watching… You don't want them to see this." Uncle Albert interjected. Mary collapsed against him and let him soothe her.

"I'm so sorry!" The man said weakly.

"Just go, please go!" Mary let Uncle Albert take her back to the grave. If she was completely honest with herself, she didn't blame the man for Tom's death, but it made her feel better to lash out at someone.

Later that evening, Uncle Albert was playing cards with the children while Edith comforted Mary by stroking her back as she lay over her lap.

"Have you got any fours?" Uncle Albert asked.

"Go fish." Matthew replied. "Uncle Albert, can't we play a different game?"

"Don't you like Fish? What else would you like to play?"

"Daddy always plays Snap with us." Rose suggested.

"That sounds splendid my dears… You'll have to show me how." Mary let a few tears slip down her cheeks as she watched her children laugh with Uncle Albert, desperately wishing she could laugh again.

Mary wasn't sure how long she watched the twins and Uncle Albert play Snap for when she heard her husband come through the door with a curse word as he stumbled into the house. Mary's eyes darkened with fury, she looked up as Bert entered the sitting room, he reeked of liquor. "Daddy!" The twins rushed into his arms. Mary sat up and glared at him.

"Daddy, do you want to play Snap with us?" Rose asked.

"Children, it's time to go to bed." Mary interjected.

"But Mummy - ."

"Goats butt, birds fly and children who have had a long day must get their sleep."

"We'll take them up." Edith said as she lifted herself up off the sofa. The twins embraced Bert before going over to Mary and hugging her too.

"I'll be up to kiss you goodnight soon." Uncle Albert and Edith took the twins upstairs and away from Mary and Bert.

"Where have you been?" Mary asked.

"I needed some time to think." Bert replied sheepishly.

"Clearly, I can smell the alcohol on you from here… I think I'll make a cup of tea." She got up and walked into kitchen. Bert followed close behind.

"Do you think that you could try not being critical for 5 minutes?"

"Oh, I haven't even begun Bert." Mary put the pot of water on the stove.

"Don't start."

"You left Bert! You let me bury our son alone!"

"I couldn't handle it Mary! I knew I'd have a breakdown if I stayed."

"He showed up… The driver, he showed up at our son's funeral and I slapped him."

"Did it make you feel better?"

"No, it did not make me feel better Bert! I needed you there, and you let me go through that alone."

"Mary Poppins doesn't need anyone."

"I needed you! And you let me down, you let our son down!" Mary took a cup and saucer out of the cupboard while Bert took a long swig from the flask in his pocket.

"You're one to talk about letting people down."

Mary paused at the cupboard, the kettle started whistling on the stove but Mary had forgotten all about her tea. "What is that supposed to mean?" Mary argued.

"Forget I said anything!"

"No you clearly have something on your mind, please say it."

"I told you so many times about letting them play in the street." Mary was stunned.

"You're saying this is my fault?!"

"I said it wasn't safe for them to be playing in the street."

"I don't believe I'm hearing this!"

"You asked me to be truthful!"

"You're blaming me for our son's death!"

"What do you want me to say Mary? You were the practically perfect nanny to even else's children but you couldn't keep our son safe!"

"Stop it Bert!"

"You were supposed to protect him!"

"I said stop it!"

"You're the reason our boy is dead!"

Mary launched the cup she was holding across the room towards Bert, he ducked quickly but Mary was on a mission. She took more cups and plates from the cupboard and hurtled them at Bert, each one smashing into the wall behind his head. When Mary ran out of objects, Bert made a quick escape from the kitchen, she followed him. "Where are you going?" She screamed.

"As far away from you as possible!" Bert shouted back, he threw open the door and left the house.

"Don't bother coming back!" Mary slammed the door shut, locked it and put on the bolt. She turned quickly, her breathing heavy and erratic and her heart pounding. She looked up and saw the twins sat on the stairs frozen in fear, Uncle Albert and Edith were stood behind them staring in shock. Suddenly it hit Mary what she and Bert had done. "Go back to bed, please." She said calmly.

"Is Daddy coming back?" Matthew asked.

"Not tonight, but he'll be back soon… Now please, go to bed." The twins obeyed their mother and soon returned to their room while Mary made her way back into the kitchen. There was broken glass everywhere. She dropped to her knees and got to work on cleaning up the mess she'd made. The glass cut her hands but she felt no physical pain. She let the tears fall as she placed the glass shards into the bin. She was the woman that families needed to save them when things went wrong but she had no idea who would save her family.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated this story but hopefully I can update a little more frequently now :) anyways I've got to apologize again for this chapter - it's still tough going!_

 _Love Kelly xx_

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 **Chapter 13**

 **Worlds Apart**

Mary drained her glass in silence and poured yet another drink, hoping to find peace at the bottom of the bottle. She didn't usually drink whiskey but it was just one of many things that had developed over the last few months. She and Bert had barely spoken since Tom's funeral and when they did it usually led to heated arguments in which one of them would storm out of the house. Tonight, it was her turn and now she was she was sat on a worn-down bar stool in her local pub with a half empty bottle of whiskey to keep her company. She wasn't used to drinking something so strong and dry, usually she only had the odd glass of wine or rum punch and that was enough leave her with a pleasant high but now she needed something much stronger. The alcohol burnt her throat as she knocked it back, her vision was blurry and she felt sick. She didn't dare stand up in case her legs buckled from underneath her. She was semi-conscious of the worried glances from the other side of the pub. "Did no one ever tell you it was rude to stare?" She snapped and the familiar faces turned away.

Mary wasn't sure what had sparked the latest row between her and Bert, these days a row about bills would ignite a flame that would keep growing until it engulfed everything and there was nothing left but black smoke that filled both their lungs, as if their grief hadn't been punishment enough. Yes, she and her husband still shared a bed but they were worlds apart. Over the months they had become nothing more than glorified roommates. Mary glanced down at her wedding ring and thought about what it had once meant to her. They had made vows that they would be together in sickness and in health until death parted them; that they were partners and that there was nothing they couldn't overcome. She couldn't help but feel that the little gold circle was only there to mock her now. Yes, she loved Bert, she loved him without a shadow of a doubt. She just wasn't sure if love was enough anymore.

"Mary?" A voice asked. She looked up to see a pair of warm, inviting eyes and a sympathetic smile.  
"Jimmy... Nice to see you." She smiled weakly.  
"Mind if I sit down?"  
"Please, be my guest... I haven't seen you since..." Mary's voice trailed off, her mouth unable to form the words. She hadn't seen Jimmy since the funeral but the words were like acid - too dangerous to bring out into the open.

"How have you been?" Mary asked as Jimmy sat on the stool beside her.  
"Good but busy... You look..." Jimmy began.  
"Drunk, tired, haggard. Take your pick."  
"I was gonna say as beautiful as ever but whatever works for you." Mary smiled but it quickly fell almost as though it was shameful to smile. Especially at the man in front of her. Once upon a time, long before the children and long before she and Bert had become a couple, she'd believed that she was in love with the handsome sweep. But at the time she was barely a teenager and he was much too old for her, as was Bert. That was the reason she'd met Bert in the first place, he and Jimmy were Uncle Albert's chimney sweeps during the first summer she visited him in London and she had much preferred Jimmy to Bert. Bert was far too eccentric and immature whereas Jimmy sensible and sophisticated and engaged to be married. That summer Mary experienced her first heartbreak but found a lifelong best friend in the man she thought was too much immature.

"That's a lie but thank you anyway." Jimmy noted the way she downed the glass of whiskey.  
"Thirsty eh?"  
"Absolutely parched." She hiccoughed into the empty glass.  
"That's not gonna make you feel any better."  
"It seems to help my husband. He spends more time here than at home."  
"I know I bin here with 'im a few times."  
"Did he tell you what an absolute cow I am?" Jimmy let out a laugh.

"Come to think of it, he 'as mentioned it a few times." He joked, Mary tried to repress an amused smile. "Come on, I won't stop 'til I get a laugh outta you."

"You can try but you'd be wasting your time."

"Mary, it's not a shameful thing to laugh; you won't tarnish your son's memory if you laugh."

"Maybe I just don't want to laugh or smile without him in the world."

After a few more drinks, Jimmy and Mary began to open up to each other more like old friends did after a significant amount of time had passed. Mary began to feel as she did before the responsibilities of age, marriage and children had enveloped her, the distraction of being with someone who had nothing to do with her tragedy was so freeing that she found herself moving closer to Jimmy and craving more of him. Although time had moved them on, Mary began to feel like a young girl again.

"I was sorry to hear about Emily." Mary said cautiously, not sure if uttering the name of Jimmy's estranged wife was pushing it.

"Me too…" Jimmy sighed, his eyes stared out into the distance.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened? You both seemed so happy."

"Well, for the longest time we were… I dunno, something changed between us, we stopped making the effort for each other an' after a while we realised that the love we once had wasn't there anymore… I guess no one ever tells you how hard marriage can be." Mary nodded but if she was being completely honest with herself, up until recently, she'd always found it easy to love Bert. He was her best friend as well as her husband and that was why she never wanted to be without him. That's what made this whole thing so difficult, she felt like she was not only losing her husband but her best friend too.

"You're preaching to the choir." Mary whispered with a heavy heart.

"Bert still loves you Mary." Jimmy asserted.

"He blamed me for Tom's death." Jimmy wrapped his arm around his best friend's wife, his fingers sliding through her messy bun. "He din't mean it, he loves you."  
"Oh he did... And he's right, it was my fault." Jimmy brought the grieving mother to his chest and let her tears soak his shirt.  
"What 'appened to Tom was awful but it was no one's fault. It was just an accident!"  
"I could've stopped it from happening and I didn't! What kind of mother can't even save her own baby?" Jimmy pushed the woman away to stare at her tearstained cheeks. His hands cupped her face.  
"Now you listen to me Mary Poppins, you are a wonderful mother and your family loves you."  
"They would be so much better off without me!"  
"Mary please! It's not your fault. Do you hear me? It's not your fault! You couldn't have done anything different." He wiped away Mary's tears with his thumbs. "Come on, I think you've had enough, it's time to take you home." He wrapped his arm around her waist and lifted her to her feet, guiding the sobbing woman out of the pub and into the cold night air.

"Please don't make me go back there." Mary wept as she stumbled into Jimmy's chest. "I can't go back there."

"Oh Mary!" Jimmy brought Mary into his arms and let her sob against his shirt. Somewhere in the confusion someone's lips found the other's and they shared a gentle kiss.

Jimmy was the first to pull away and stare into Mary's weary eyes. "We've had a lot to drink... This isn't a good idea." He whispered. Mary reached up and stroked his cheek.

"I don't care." She sighed. She ran her fingers through his hair. She pulled his lips to hers once more but this time there was no hesitation on either part. As soon as their lips touched it ignited a fire in Mary that she realised she'd been missing. Jimmy ran his hands down the curves of her waist until he reached her hips and pulled her body against his. Mary gasped into the kiss. She knew it was wrong, but the mix of alcohol, grief, loneliness and Jimmy's sweet, gentle nature had clouded her judgement. Jimmy pushed her against the cold, brick wall and buried his face into the crook of her neck. "Oh god!" Mary gasped. She gripped his hair tight as she tried to push the image of her husband away. He untucked her blouse and let his hands explore the soft skin underneath. "Oh god!" She cried again. She could've put an end to it there and then, pushed Jimmy away and returned home to her husband and children. But what was left of her marriage to go back to? She and Bert were now strangers to each other, it had been months since they had even spoken a civil word to each let alone anything else. She felt Jimmy gently nip her skin and she gave in to her darkest desires. "Oh god!" She moaned. She let cloudiness consume her, wiping away any thoughts of her family back home and putting the final nail in the coffin of her marriage.


	14. Chapter 14

_Hi all, well I've had to change the rating on this story to M for this chapter - it does get a little bit rude (hopefully makes up a little bit for the torment I've put you through!) Once again thank you all for your continued support and reviews, it really means so much to me :) Love Kelly xx_

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Chapter 14

The harsh, blinding light was too much to take in, in Mary's current state. It was a new day but she reeked of the night before. She clung to the moist sheets that was covered in last night's odours. But she didn't the sheets to remind her of her shame and regret, it was all around her. It was in the clothes that were scattered haphazardly across the room, it was in the beads of sweat that still covered her skin, it was with the naked man lying next to her. Her head was spinning but it was no longer cloudy, she could see as clear as day and she didn't like it at all. She sat up in bed before a wave of nausea washed over her and she rushed into the bathroom. She gagged and vomited until her system was empty but she still felt as rotten. Her actions from the night before leaving an unpleasant taste. She crept back into the other room; Jimmy was still asleep. She quickly dressed herself before he had a chance to wake and left the room without so much of a word or note. She wanted to pretend the night before had never happened. But no matter how much she wished it wasn't so, the damage had already been done.

Mary hesitated when she got to her front door. Her heart was pounding as she thought about what her husband and children were going through at that moment. Every time she did, she was overcome by guilt and shame. How could she possibly face Bert when all she could see when she closed her eyes was his best friend? She could still feel his lips on hers, the taste of hot sweat as they moved together; the weight of his body on hers. Mary trembled at the thought of the memory; she was disgusted with herself. She put the key in the door and let herself in.

To her surprise, it was not her husband who was first to greet her, it was Uncle Albert. "Mary, my dear, where have you been? We were worried sick!" He exclaimed as he embraced her and took her through to the kitchen where her family was waiting. "Mummy!" The twins exclaimed as they rushed from the kitchen table and ran into her waiting arms. Mary kissed and hugged them several times over while the tears streamed down her cheeks. Bert just watched her from his seat but she couldn't meet his gaze.

"Mummy, why are you crying?" Matthew asked.

"I just missed you so much!" Mary wept, she gave the twins another kiss.

"Where were you Mummy?" Rose asked.

"Yeah where were you, Mary?" Bert asked. He stayed rooted to his seat, Mary glances up at him and instantly realised he knew about her affair.

"Who was he?" Bert asked, not taking his hardened stare away from his wife. Mary felt the bile rise in her throat, her palms were sweaty and she tried to stop her trembling.

"Who was who?" She asked quietly, she looked away from his icy stare.

"The man you spent the night with." Mary gulped forcefully, she had known that she would never have been able to keep the truth from him but she had hoped she'd have some time before he saw her for the unfaithful wretch she was.

"Don't be silly, Bert! Mary would never do anything to hurt you. Right Mary?" Uncle Albert defended her but she just deflated further. All this time she had been so concerned with her own pain and longing for an escape for her suffering, all the while forgetting that she held the hearts of everyone in that room. Each of them depended on her strength in their own ways, she never considered how her actions would break them. She lifted her head to meet Bert's eye. "I'm so sorry." She wept.

Uncle Albert took the twins back to his house to give Mary and Bert a bit of privacy and a chance to talk. Mary sat at the kitchen table, her fingers tracing the imperfections in the wood and thinking about her own imperfections. She had never felt so low, she had always been the practically perfect nanny, wife, mother… Now she had ruined it all. She tried to remind herself that Bert hadn't fallen in love with her because she was practically perfect, he had already seen her flaws. She just wasn't sure how likely he was to forgive this one.

"Are you gonna talk to me or are you just sit there lookin' at the table?" Bert questioned as he circled her.

"What is there to say, Bert?" Mary asked quietly.

"An explanation might be nice, ya know seein' how you slept with another bloke."

"I know and I'm so sorry Bert… I'd had a lot to drink and I was upset. I know there's no excuse for my behaviour, I hate myself for what I've done to you." Bert's face scrunched up, Mary could've sworn she saw him tear up for a second but he quickly brushed them away.

"Who was he?" Mary ran her fingers through her hair wondering how she could dodge the question without lying to him.

"It doesn't matter."

"Oh it does if you ever want me to trust you again."

"What does it matter? It won't change anything."

"I won't ask you again."

"Bert, please!" She felt hot tears spring to eyes. Bert slammed his hands on the table, almost making her jump out of her seat. The tears ran down her cheeks, she'd never seen him this way before.

"You went to bed with another man, the least you can do is tell me what 'is name is!"

"Jimmy! It was Jimmy!"

Bert gave her a curious stare. "Jimmy? Best man at our wedding, that Jimmy?" He asked. Mary nodded through her tears. Bert felt as though he'd been stabbed in the chest not once but twice. His best friend had slept with his wife, he felt like his whole world was falling apart in one fell swoop. He turned away from his wife and ran his nails down his face. "How did it happen?" He asked.

"I was upset and I had been drinking… He comforted me and then… One thing led to another." Mary said. His heart was racing and his blood boiling. In a blind rage, he knocked all the dishes off the counter letting them smash on the floor; Mary let out a surprised scream. Bert kicked over the kitchen chairs and began stamping on them until the wood splintered. Mary arose from her seat and rushed over to her husband, he pushed her away but she persisted. "Bert, please!" She cried as she took his face in her hands. "It meant nothing to me. I love you and I love our family. Please forgive me!" She buried her face into his neck and sobbed. Bert let his tears fall into her hair completely ready to give in to her. Mary moved her lips up his jaw, across his cheek and to his lips. He responded for a millisecond before shoving her away. "No!" He shouted. "You can't kiss me an' think that'll make it better… I need to get out of here." Bert pulled away from her and left the kitchen. "Bert!" She exclaimed as she followed him but he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Bert didn't return that morning, nor the afternoon or evening. Mary bathed to wash the previous night off body, until she could no longer smell Jimmy on her skin. She let the almost burning water wash over her exhausted body. Normally, Mary would sing when washing herself but this time she didn't feel like it. She let the steam envelope her, making all invisible – if she couldn't see the world, the world couldn't see her. She dragged the soap over her rough skin, massaging and kneading her neck and shoulders, and as she did she felt the weight of the Earth slip away. It was comforting, if only for a few minutes. In the early evening, Mary called up Uncle Albert to speak to the twins. She and Uncle Albert agreed that the twins should stay with him and Edith until things settled down between her and Bert – if things would ever settle down between them.

"Mary, my dear… How long do you think you can carry on like this?" Uncle Albert asked.

"I don't know… However long it lasts I suppose."

"What if Bert can't move on from this? Are you really going to stay in an unhappy marriage?"

"What are you saying Uncle Albert?"

"I think you might be done, my dear."

Mary was quiet for a moment, she hadn't contemplated divorce, it didn't even feel like an option. She loved her husband more than anything but she did have to admit that she was beginning to feel like she was holding up a large stone and if she wasn't careful, it was going to crush her. "Mary?" Uncle Albert asked.

"I love Bert, he is the father of my children."

"That's precisely why I'm saying this… I love you both dearly and I don't want you to split up either but all I've seen you do over the past few months is hurt each other – and hurt the children. If you were to divorce, it doesn't mean you don't love each other, it just means that you weren't meant to be."

"That's the thing Uncle Albert… Bert and I are meant to be. I love him so much."

"I know my dear, but if you carry on like this, there won't be any love left."

At some point while she was waiting for her husband, Mary had fallen asleep on the bed. She awoke to the sound of Bert's voice on the stairs. She climbed out of bed, put on her dressing gown and went to find him. She found him slumped on the stairs, his clothing torn and his face bloodied. "Bert!" She gasped. She rushed to his side and tried to help him up the stairs. "Bert, what happened?"

"I ran into your boyfriend in the pub… If you think this is bad, you should see him!" He slurred. Mary dropped her head in shame, she slung his arm over her shoulders and lifted him to his feet.

"Oh darling! We need to get you cleaned up." Once they got into the bedroom, Mary tried to remove his clothes so she could see the extent of the damage but Bert kept pushing her away.

"Bert please! I need to see if you need to go to the hospital."

"Get your 'ands off me! Go to Jimmy's, I'm sure he wouldn't mind you looking after him but I certainly don't want you!" He continued to struggle against her.

"Bert really! You're being childish now! I've said I'm sorry so many times, what else can I do?"

"Just get away from me!"

"Do you want me to beg, Bert? Just say the words and I'll get down on my knees and I will beg!"

"Get up Mary, you're making a fool of yourself!"

"What do you want from me?! Please tell me what you want!"

"I want a wife that doesn't jump into bed with other men! I want our family back the way it was! I want to hold my son in my arms but I can't because you let him play in the road!" With that he gave her an almighty shove that sent her tumbling across the room. She fell backward, smacking her head against the wardrobe as she did.

Mary slumped to the ground in complete disbelief, Bert had never been violent with her and although he hadn't meant to hurt her, she couldn't deny that there was a look of loathing in his eyes that she had never seen on him. It appeared only for a moment until he realised what he had done and it dropped, but the damage had already been done. Mary realised that perhaps Uncle Albert was right, maybe it was the end for them. She stumbled to her feet ignoring the blood that was trickling down her ear. "I'll… I guess I'll go and get the first aid kit." She murmured.

Mary entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her, when it clicked shut she let the tears fall. She took some cotton buds out of the first aid box and began to staunch the blood that was dripping down her ear. When the wound was cleaned she saw that she just had a tiny cut on her head - all that blood for a tiny cut! She threw away the soiled buds and quickly wiped her tears before returning to bedroom.

Mary knelt down in front of Bert and placed the first aid kit on the bed beside him. She looked up at his grief-stricken face, his tears and blood were mingling. She silently reached up to clean his wounds and wash the dirt off his face. She was so gentle, almost as though she was taking care of a child. "I 'urt you." Bert whispered through his tears.

"It was an accident. Besides it was just a little cut, no harm done." Mary replied with a kind smile. "Can you remove your shirt please?" Bert shyly unbuttoned his shirt and winced as he pushed it off his shoulders. Mary gasped when she saw the array of cuts and bruises that covered his torso.

"How did you get those?" Mary asked.

"Things got very physical with 'im... We ended going through the window of the pub." Bert admitted shamefully.

"Oh darling..." Mary leant up to touch his chest but stopped, the distance between them was too great for such an intimate act. She carried on cleaning his wounds. "We can't go on like this, Bert." She said, firmly.

"I know."

"I was speaking to Uncle Albert earlier... He's worried about us and to be honest I am too. He said no one would blame us if we went our separate ways."

Bert's head shot up, his eyes met hers in desperation. "You mean divorce? No! I don't want that... And Uncle Albert shouldn't be suggesting it!"

"Bert, I am so scared for us! We haven't been ourselves for months... We're always hurting each other and one of these days it's not just going to be one of us that gets hurt, what about the children?"

"That's exactly why we need to stick together. We're stronger together... This is us Mary, you once told me that there wasn't anything that we couldn't survive."

"Well I never thought this would happen... Bert, what if you can't ever forgive me?"

"I can, I promise I can!" Bert seemed ever so sincere in his words but his eyes told a different story.

Mary made a move to put the bandages away when Bert grabbed her wrists to stop her. He put the box of bandages to one side and wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, letting his forehead rest against her stomach. Mary ran her fingers through his hair while he cried and she felt her heart split in two. How could she have let things get this far? She thought about how all of this could have been prevented if she hadn't let the children play in the street the day Tom died. If she had, Tom would still be with them and they would still be happy. What did she have now? Two children who were terrified of her, a broken marriage and a dead baby. She let a few silent tears roll down her cheeks as she grieved for not only her little boy, but her entire family.

After a few minutes, Bert lifted his head to look up at Mary, his eyes were still shining with tears. She ran her thumbs over his cheeks, wiping away a few stray tears. She was about to step out of his embrace when he tightened his grip on her waist. Slowly he undid the knot on her dressing gown and let it fall open, revealing Mary's nightgown. Her heart began to race as Bert stroked her hips and planted gentle kisses on her stomach. "Bert." She croaked. He didn't answer her, he was too busy moving his kisses up her body until he reached her lips. He pushed the dressing gown off her shoulders, leaving her in just her nightgown. He pressed his forehead against hers and rubbed their noses together. Mary exhaled deeply as Bert hesitated a little before kissing her gently.

It didn't take long for them to lose themselves in a passionate kiss as Bert parted their lips and took his wife in his arms. Mary pulled away slightly. "Bert…" Mary said in between kisses. "We said we'd never make love in the middle of a fight… Darling, this isn't going to solve anything." Bert didn't cease the kissing, it just became more urgent until he pulled her down on to the bed. Mary tried to get back some emotional control as Bert planted desperate kisses on her neck and began pushing up her nightgown. Mary moaned as Bert began trailing his kisses down her body and in that moment realised that she needed this as much as he did. She lifted her nightgown over her head as Bert came back up to her lips, Mary undid his trousers, moving her hand inside. Bert gasped as Mary stroked him. He ran his hands over her soft skin, for the first time ever he started to appreciate how much her body had changed after giving birth to their children. She was still tiny but her skin was not as tight as it had once been and her natural curves were much more visible. She was the mother of his children and she was beautiful. Despite how she had changed and despite what she had recently done, he loved her desperately and he desired her more than anything. He kissed the stretch marks on her stomach, hips and thighs; a breathy moan caught in Mary's throat and her chest moved faster and faster with the closer he got to her centre. Bert moved back up her body and finally removed his trousers, quickly kicking the garment to the floor and lowering himself on to her. He placed a loving kiss on her lips as she rested her hands on his back.

"I love you, Bert." Mary whispered.

"I love you too." He murmured before placing a gentle kiss on her lips. He slowly slid inside of her, making her gasp into the kiss. He began to thrust into her, moaning gently, revelling in how they moved perfectly in sync. "Bert." Mary breathed as she rocked her hips against his. Bert thrusted quicker, drawing out more gasps and moans every time he pushed into her. He flipped them over so she was sat on top of him and they rocked against each other. Mary began to whimper, she was getting close. Bert kissed her chest as they moved as one, trying to make the moment last as long as possible. Mary dug her nails into Bert's scalp as she arched her back, grinding her hips against him furiously as she felt her orgasm come crashing over her. Bert rolled on top of Mary once more, he thrust a few more times before he too gasped and came and collapsed on top of her.

As he came down off his high, Bert rolled off his wife. Mary's eyes clouded over as she stared up at the shadows on the ceiling, her breathing still coming up in gasps. When she had floated back down to Earth and could finally string a sentence together, she turned towards Bert and reached out for him. "That was amazing." She breathed as she stroked his shoulder and to her shock and dismay, he rolled further on to his side of the bed and fell asleep.

Mary lay stunned and silent for a moment, her arm still hanging in the black, empty space between them. He usually slept so close to her, especially after making love, that now a mere few inches seemed like a world away. It was in that moment that she realised that they hadn't reached a turning point and that things may never go back to the way they were before. She let a few stray tears fall before moving closer to him so she could kiss the bottom of his neck before rolling back to her side of the bed. She made sure her tears were silent as she cried herself to sleep.

The next day Bert awoke up to the feeling of soft lips on his temple. With his eyes still closed, he reached out for the woman kissing him. He sleepily stretched out, his legs poking out from underneath the bedclothes. His eyes blinked open and he smiled up at his wife. She was already dressed for the day, in fact she was dressed to go out: hat, coat, gloves. He glanced over her shoulder and spotted her carpet bag on the night stand.

"Are we going somewhere?" Bert asked as he tried to comprehend what was going on. He glanced around the room to find that various items were missing: the gold-plated hat stand, the mirror and Mary's clothing from the wardrobe. His heart began to race as the panic set in. He looked back to his wife, her eyes were puffy and red, she had been crying for hours by the looks of it.

"You're going somewhere? Mary what's going on?" He asked, he sat upright in bed. Mary shook her head as more tears began to fall.

"I can't do this anymore, Bert." Mary sobbed.

Bert felt his whole world crashing down around him. Mary was about to walk out of his life; out of their children's lives. It didn't make any sense, Mary would never leave her children.

"There's a family in France that need a nanny… I think it'll be good for us to take a break for a bit." Mary said as she continued to pack a few things into her bag.

"France?! Mary, we're married; we have children… There is no taking a break from this."

"If I stay things will just keep getting worse and worse until we're completely broken."

"How long do you need to be there for?"

"I don't know, I'm just going to see how things go." Mary picked up a photo off the night stand. It was the day of Tom's birth… The day they were so convinced they were going to lose him but he surprised them and pulled through. A few more tears slid down her cheeks. The more she thought about it, the more Mary realised that Tom's death had been hanging over them like a dark cloud for four years, waiting to strike them in the most painful way.

"I know I'm being selfish but I can't be here right now, Bert. I'll die if I stay… I just need some time to think, to get my head straight." Bert grabbed her hands and stopped her from packing anymore.

"If you do this, can you promise me that this is just a temporary thing? That you'll come back to me?"

Mary didn't answer Bert, she just wept as she packed up the remainder of her things. "Mary, please answer me." Bert whispered.

"I don't know, all I know is this the only thing I can think of that might save us." Mary replied

"How? You're tearing our family apart… Think about the kids Mary, they need you - I need you… Please don't leave us!" Bert realised he was now crying too.

"This is the right thing to do." Mary said firmly. Bert grabbed her by the arms and pulled her close to him. He wanted to shake some sense into her; he wanted to take her back to bed and never let her go. "How can it be the right thing to do if you're not here? How can it be the right thing if we're not together?" He asked. Mary shifted in his grip so she could take his face in her hands, kiss his lips and embrace him.

"I love you Bert..." She whispered against his neck. "I just don't know if love is enough anymore." With that she slipped from his arms. "Tell the children I love them." Mary wiped her eyes as she crept out of the bedroom.

Bert stood completely stunned for a moment, the love of his life had walked away from him; from their children. His brain was telling him that it was a good thing, that they were better off without her and that what she had done was unforgivable, but his heart... Oh but his heart! She was his soul mate, an extension of himself and once was the sole reason he kept breathing. He ached for her, the pain cut through him like a rusty knife that he thought it would've been better if she'd killed him. He blew his nose and wiped his eyes and got ready for the day, after all he needed to collect the children from Uncle Albert's house. For the time being he would have to paint on a smile and forget his heartbreak.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hi all! So sorry for such a long hiatus, the past few months have been so hectic... First I was doing a play, then I lost my login details and then I started moving house - told ya, absolutely hectic! Anyway here is chapter 15 and I hope it will make up for such a long break! I will also be catching up on everyone else's stories - just might take me a bit of time as there's like 10 new ones! Please review as usual! Love Kelly xxx**_

 **Chapter 15**

 _Present day_

Lucy sat in the cafe of the home, nursing a nice cup of tea. If she was honest, she hadn't really wanted the tea she just wanted to get away from the tension with her mother. Mary couldn't have had more than a couple of weeks left and Liz and Lucy still hadn't made amends. It was frustrating for Mary, if she had her usual strength she would've banged their heads together by now. They were both as stubborn as each other, if Bert were still alive he'd tease her and say with a coy smile: "I wonder where they get that from." Then she would scoff and scold him for being cheeky - all the while hiding a secret smile because she knew it was true.

Lucy continued to stir her teaspoon in the mug, the tea was ice cold by now. She really didn't want to return to her grandmother's room, it was awkwardly silent what with Mary spending most her time asleep. Rose had tried a few light jokes to diffuse the tension but gave up when no one would even crack a smile. Every now and then one of the residents would start groaning when the nurse tried to feed them. She looked around the room at the people who were almost like children now. People who had once had jobs, relationships, children, lives of their own. What had they been reduced to? What had her grandmother become? She had a few moments of clarity but mostly she was confused, frightened and in pain. It was an existence that no person deserved. Especially her truly wonderful nana.

Lucy lifted her head to see her cousin Sally walking away from her Nana's room, her two young children in tow. "Sally!" She called but the older woman didn't answer, she just tightened her grip on her children as they shouted: "Lucy! Mummy look it's Lucy!" She pulled them away and scolded them for being naughty. Lucy was confused, she and Sally had always been good friends but now she was pretending that she didn't exist. Lucy decided to put her mood to some good use and confront her cousin.

"Hey Sally! What's wrong?" Lucy asked as she caught up to Sally and the children rushed into her arms.

"Lucy... Nothing's wrong." Sally lied.

"You're a terrible liar, Sal... Why are you avoiding me?"

"Why did you ask Nana for Granddad's books when she passed away?"

Lucy's mouth fell open. That's what the hostility came down to: materialistic goods. She felt disgusted with her cousin, Nana wasn't even dead yet and people were already after her things. She felt sick to her very stomach.

"That's what this is all about, some old books?" Lucy spat.

"You don't have any children, you had no right asking for those books!" Sally argued.

"I didn't ask! Nana asked me what I wanted so I said that the only thing I could think of was the books because I never met Grandad and it would be nice to have a little piece of him... If I'd known it'd cause so much upset I wouldn't have said anything."

"Yes well I think it'll be best if the books stay in the family." Lucy scrunched up her face in confusion.

"What are you talking about? I am part of the family." Sally's face fell and Lucy realised that her cousin knew something she didn't.

"What aren't you telling me Sal?"

After her conversation with Sally, Lucy flew back to Mary's room in a blind rage. Hot tears slipped down her cheeks as she thought about how her family had lied to her all her life, the betrayal cut through her icy exterior that she had been giving her mother until there was nothing left but burning contempt. She stormed into the room and slammed the door behind, forgetting her grandmother was asleep in the bed.

"What is the matter with you? You're going to wake your nan up!" Liz hissed.

"When were you going to tell me that Grandad wasn't your real dad?"

 _Spring 1925_

"Matthew; Rose! It's time to go." Bert called up in Mrs Corry's shop where his children had been spending the day, where they had been spending most days since Mary had left. Two months had passed and she had still not returned to London. Of course, there was the odd letter asking after the children but not much else. With each passing day, Bert grew more nervous that his marriage was over.

"Any word this week?" Mrs Corry asked, pulling Bert out of his reverie.

"Hmmm… No, nothing yet but it's still only Thursday, there might be something tomorrow."

"I don't mean to pry Bert but I had a visit from Uncle Albert the other day and, well he's concerned that you may be holding out hope that she'll return -."

"She will come back Mrs Corry."

"But that doesn't mean that things will be better between you."

"I know… But I hope it will."

"That's what we're worried about my dear… We don't want you holding out for lost cause. You've both been through so much pain, it won't be the same."

"No it won't, but I have faith that we'll be stronger than ever… From the moment I met her, Mary Poppins was the love of my life. I will never give up on her."

As he walked home with his children, Bert tried to ignore the looks of pity and whispers in the street. 'What kind of woman would abandon her husband and children?' The neighbours would ask. They would call the mother of his children some horrendous names, so much so that he had confronted them once or twice and told them not to speak that way in front of his children. Yes, Mary had hurt him – more than once- but she was still his wife, she was still his soulmate and he wouldn't allow anyone to tarnish her name. Bert glared once at his neighbours as he put his key in the front door and they quickly pretended that they hadn't been staring as he let the children into the house.

"Mummy!" He heard the twins yell.

Bert whipped around and there she was, his darling girl, as if she had never left to begin with. Logically he wanted to march her back out the door, he wanted to tell her that she was no longer welcome in his life. Logically he wanted to hate her for everything she'd done. But Bert wasn't a logical man, he was a man who followed his heart and his heart was telling him to never let her go again. He watched his wife embrace their twins, kissing them both several times over.

"Oh my darlings!" She cried.

"Mummy, we missed you… Never leave us ever again!" Rose exclaimed.

"Never, ever again sweetheart… Oh I missed you both too!" She pulled them in for another cuddle, packing two months of hugs into one. Bert smiled fondly, her hair was short. It was a lot shorter than he'd ever seen it and she wore a floaty, floral dress that was just about level with her calf, with short sleeves and buttoned up to her collar bone. Bert's eyes widened with shock, Mary never wore clothing that revealed more than an ankle. He couldn't help but wonder if anything else had changed about her.

While she embraced her children, Mary's eyes met Bert's. "Darlings, why don't you go into the kitchen? I have presents for you both." Mary said as she pulled away from her twins, her gaze never leaving Bert. The children toddled off to find their gifts, leaving husband and wife alone. Mary slowly rose to her feet, she removed her hat and placed it on the gold coated hat stand she'd had for decades. Mary linked her hands in front of her body; Bert noticed that she was still wearing her wedding band just like he was. He took a few cautious steps towards her.

"Your hair's short." He stated.

"Yes, I needed a change… It's far too short though." Mary replied, her eyes cast down as the colour rose to her cheeks.

"No, it looks really nice, I like it." Bert ran his fingers through the now cropped locks, it was as soft as ever. Mary trembled under his touch, she raised her gaze to meet his once more before settling on his lips. "I like the dress too. It's different, very modern."

"Well France was very warm, I needed something practical."

"Ahh… Are you here to stay now?" Bert questioned, he was terrified of her answer but needed the truth before succumbing to her. Mary nodded slowly.

Bert's lips were on Mary's before she could speak in protest. It was a lot more urgent and desperate than she'd been expecting but she met his kiss with equal fervour. With his hands still roaming through his wife's hair, he pushed her against the wall and pressed his body against hers. Mary's hands reached out to steady herself and she knocked a few ornaments off the cabinet as she lost herself further and further into the kiss. He nipped at her already bruised lips as he reluctantly pulled away. Mary groaned as they separated, already missing the contact. She leaned into him, pressing her mouth and nose into the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply. His scent was intoxicating and she felt herself becoming more aroused.

"I missed you." He whispered as he kissed her forehead repeatedly.

"I missed you too and I promise I am never leaving again." Mary swore.

"Good, cos I am never letting you go again… This is where you belong, with me and our children… I'm sorry I let you walk out that door; I'm sorry I didn't fight harder for you." Mary let out a small laugh.

"It's ok… I think, if you recall, I wasn't doing much fighting either but I promise things will be better from now on… I love you and I love our children, nothing will ever make me lose sight of that again." Bert could hear the guilt and sincerity behind her sobs. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs and planted a soft kiss upon her lips.

"My darlin' girl… I love you."

After the children had been put to bed, Bert lit some candles and grabbed a bottle of wine to celebrate his wife's homecoming. They talked for hours and about everything: Mary's time in France, the children she cared for, Bert's new book and how the twins were doing in school. While on the outside, Mary seemed fine, Bert could not shake the feeling that something was wrong. She had been nursing one glass of wine all night, her fingers gracefully traced the rim of the glass and she hummed along quietly to the tunes played on the phonograph. Her breathing was shallow and her eyes were closed.

Bert leant into his wife and began to gently stroke her hair, Mary smiled sleepily and moved into his touch. She smiled up at him. "You do like my hair don't you." She said playfully. Bert nodded and placed a tender kiss on her lips. As he pulled away, she took a deep, shaky breath and ran her hand across his jaw, her eyes filled with unbridled hunger. Bert grabbed the back of her head and pulled her lips to his. Mary let out a little whimper of anticipation as Bert pushed her back on the sofa and climbed on top of her. He ran his lips down her neck, his tongue delicately tracing the dip of her throat. She let out a breathy moan before her senses came to and she pulled away. "Bert, wait." She moaned.

"What's the matter love?" Bert asked as he climbed off his wife and tried to catch his breath. Mary sat up and glanced down at her hands in her lap. Bert took Mary's hands in his, his thumbs caressed her knuckles. "Mary?" She raised her gaze to meet his.

"Bert, I'm pregnant." She whispered.

Bert dropped Mary's hands in surprise, his mind flooded with questions, the most prominent being if the child was his – he didn't dare say it out loud. "Wow! Pregnant!" Bert exhaled as he flopped back against the couch, he wasn't really speaking to Mary as much as he was to himself. "Yes… I'm about two months… The doctor couldn't give me a specific date." Mary replied. Bert shut his eyes tight, he knew what that meant. There was just as much chance that the baby was Jimmy's as it was his. Mary's eyes filled with tears and she tore her gaze from Bert's again. "I don't have to be though."

Bert snapped his head up and tried to meet her eye. "What are you talking about?" Bert asked, his eyes widened in horror. Mary couldn't look at him, she felt too ashamed.

"I don't have to be pregnant… There are ways – "

"No! I don't wanna hear that… Jesus Christ, Mary! It's illegal, not only that it's dangerous to you… Why the hell would you say that?" Bert was now on his feet pacing around the living room.

"Bert… You and I both know there is a good chance that this baby is not yours."

There it was, if the child did turn out to be the illegitimate child of his wife and best friend, they would have to live with a constant reminder of Mary's betrayal every day for the rest of their lives. However, if Mary was to terminate the pregnancy, they could live without judgemental looks and gossip. "What if this baby is his?" Mary asked quietly.

"She's mine!" Bert snapped.

"You don't know that, Bert. Can you really raise another man's child?"

"Biology don't matter… She's your baby and that makes her my baby too and I will love her just as much as Matthew, Rose and Tom." Mary winced at the name of her dead son. Neither she nor Bert had mentioned his name in months.

Mary brushed a few stray tears from her cheeks, she stood up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You seem so sure we're going to have a girl." Mary sniffed.

"Call it fatherly intuition." Bert grinned as he gave his wife a gentle kiss. "What about you? Are you ready for another baby?"

"I'm terrified after what happened to Tom and…." Mary's voice broke off into a sob as she once again relived the day her son slipped away. "No child will ever replace him… But we always said we wanted a big family… Yes, I do want this baby."

"Then why the hell are we arguing about this if we both want her?" Mary let out a soft giggle as she moved into kiss her husband.

"So, we're having a baby then?"

"We're having a baby." Bert kissed the love of his life with everything he had, pushing her against the living room door and lifting her into his arms. Mary wrapped her legs around his waist as Bert nipped at her neck and ran his hands up the back of her thighs.

"Take me to bed." She whispered in his ear. Bert didn't need telling twice, he took her upstairs to their bedroom and revelled in the fact that his wife was back in his arms where she belonged and that was all that mattered.

 _Present_

The tears flowed freely down Lucy's face as continued to glare at her mother. "Darling, I am so sorry. Sally had no right speaking to you that way." Aunt Rose apologised.

"No, clearly she did me a favour since everyone in this family has lied to me since I was born." Lucy sobbed.

"We didn't lie." Liz said quietly.

"Bullshit! You omitted the truth, that's just as bad as a lie itself… How could you not tell me that Grandad might not have been your dad?"

"He was my father! Regardless of whether or not we shared the same blood."

"Why didn't you do a blood test?" Liz paused for a moment.

"We did, when I was a teenager."

"Then how can you still not know?"

"Because I didn't want to know! As far as I was concerned, Bert Alfred was the man who raised me. He taught me to read, tucked me in bed at night and held me when I cried… He was my dad and a piece of paper was not going to tell me any different… So, we ripped it up and threw it in the fire."

Lucy let out a strangled laugh as she wiped the tears away. "You know, I always had this feeling in my gut, that I didn't fit in with this family… Like somehow never really belonged… And now I know why." She sniffled.

"Lucy, we never found out the truth because it didn't matter… You and your mother are still part of the family." Rose whispered as she took her niece's hands in her own. Lucy snatched her hands back.

"Family? As far as I'm concerned, the only family I have will be dead soon." And with that Lucy left the room, letting the door slam behind her. Liz ran her fingers through her hair and let out an exasperated sigh. She cast her weary eyes to her older sister. "How do I fix this one?" She asked.

"You don't… You just give her time and hope she comes around." Unbeknown to them, their mother had been listening and she knew exactly what to do to fix everything.


End file.
